Session #5: 3d6 Quickened Fireballs

[Spus]

You have just entered room "chat11886835891102339374."
Kai Bahamut: Hullo
fatalchocolate12: konnichiwa!
WarDragon 1984: Hai.
stabs felcher: meow
Kai Bahamut: First lets pour a 40 for our absent players. *takes out 40 gallons of dwarven ale*
stabs felcher: Muddy: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Kai Bahamut: Zarius:"The booze was getting old anyway. You can still lick the carpets if you want some"
stabs felcher: *does so* "Now this brings back memories.... never mind which*
fatalchocolate12: merry christmas and happy new year
SpusWidgetwatch: *Is tempted to make a dirty joke, but resists.*
WarDragon 1984: Everyone have a good holiday?
Kai Bahamut: Yes. I have money. Lots of christmas money. But it has to last until June.
fatalchocolate12: yeah, except for the school starting agin part
stabs felcher: I guess so. Uncle Paulie brought a bottle of gin that saved christmas!
SpusWidgetwatch: Eat a diet of Ramen Noodles and water alone.
SpusWidgetwatch: It'll last til then
WarDragon 1984: Yeah. The Spell Compendium, and Final Fantasy IV Advance were the highlights of mine.
fatalchocolate12: EXTERNAL HARDDRIVE!!!
stabs felcher: There's a FF4 advance? Much difference to the old one?
Kai Bahamut: Oo. I already eat a lot of ramen noodles
WarDragon 1984: First time I've played it, so I wouldn't know...
stabs felcher: o
SpusWidgetwatch: I was just playing it now heh
WarDragon 1984: heh
fatalchocolate12: is it any good?
Kai Bahamut: BOLT 2!
WarDragon 1984: I'm loving it.
SpusWidgetwatch: same as the other types, just got to the extra stuff
WarDragon 1984: You mean Thundara, don't you, Kai?
Kai Bahamut: RIght -_-
Kai Bahamut: BLIZARA!
stabs felcher: so we starting?
WarDragon 1984: anybody remember where we left off last time?
fatalchocolate12: you were going back to town, iirc
Kai Bahamut: WE had just gotten back to that city we helped, to drop off the soldiers we had found
Kai Bahamut: I need to stop in town to buy a couple of things
stabs felcher: I don't think Muddy has much money...
SpusWidgetwatch: (I think we shot down some plan to sneak into one of the forts what I remember)
WarDragon 1984: (yes, probably.)
Kai Bahamut: (I guess that means we stop at town to discuss our next plan of action)
SpusWidgetwatch: (It's 15 mins into the session and a commoner isn't dead yet. What's wrong with us?
WarDragon 1984: "Well, that wasn't the disaster it could have been, I suppose. Still discouraging.
fatalchocolate12: ok, so, you guys are getting back to town, and as soon as you set foot past its gates, the governer comes running up to you and is looking very nervous
stabs felcher: (You're right... who in the party is most like a commoner?)
WarDragon 1984: "
Kai Bahamut: *Blows up bob the epic commoner* There we are
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Erm... someone prettier 'n me go talk to 'im"
fatalchocolate12: (yeah, you do kill a lot of commoners. Don't worry, I'll change that soon)
Kai Bahamut: "Thats my job." I go up to the govener. "Has something happned?"
WarDragon 1984: I'll follow him, being all quiet and ominous.
fatalchocolate12: "Oh, thank god you are back! Our enemies from across the bay have found help of their own!"
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Don't flatter yourself...I know warthogs more attractive than Muddy..."
WarDragon 1984: "Let me guess; are they called the Zeji?"
Kai Bahamut: "Son of a bitch. Do you know how strong they are?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "And I know pigs who rut less than you"
Kai Bahamut: I shake my head at that.
fatalchocolate12: "For the past 3 nights, we have been plagued by hit and run type attacks on our main buildings," and he points to where you vaguely remember a 40 foot building being.
SpusWidgetwatch: (It's our evil twins! Err...Good Twins!0
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Yar... any one get a look at the culprits?"
Kai Bahamut: "They demolished a building? Okay... that might be a problem. But if they havent seen our faces... Ive got it."
WarDragon 1984: "Well, they'll have a surprise waiting for them tonight."
fatalchocolate12: "No, we don't know who, but there are at least 4 of them. Some of us argue for 5, and even a few more say they saw 6! Please, help us!"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Don't worry... I'm sure that all 5 won't show up at the same time..."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Four at most will be able to get their gear together and be here.."
Kai Bahamut: "If they have extras and their smart, they will hold them back in case something goes wrong."
fatalchocolate12: "Would you like to know what happend, or should I just point you in the right direction?"
Kai Bahamut: "Tell us what you know. If we know their capabilities the better we can prepare."
WarDragon 1984: "Tell us everything.'
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"General direction, I'm not as pessimistic as the dwarf- we ought to prepare for the worst."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "A fellow finds it hard to be optimistic when the gods themselves hunt us..."
Kai Bahamut: "The gods are not hunting us. We would have Demons or Celestials on our ass if they were."
fatalchocolate12: "Allright, from what we understand, the attacks begin with explosives going off. And believe you me, lots of explosives. If the building is still standing, then we see magic used to bring it down completely.
stabs felcher: Muddy: "And what of the bloody clouds that blow up all they touch? Ye say that's not a god?"
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"They generally dislike your boss you're so obsessed with ressurecting..."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Sorry Sorry... continue..."
Kai Bahamut: "Magic. THey must have a spell caster."
WarDragon 1984: (I'm the one obssessed with ressurrecting the boss, not Muddy...)
stabs felcher: (Muddy is against Rezzing)
Kai Bahamut: "Or two."
fatalchocolate12: "Now, obviously, we fight back to seek revenge, but they are too damn strong for our troops. The first night they came, they killed at least a third of the active guards and wounded almost all the rest!"
SpusWidgetwatch: (Was to Kai.)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "So you're saying this town is almost defenseless?" *licks lips*
fatalchocolate12: (active)
WarDragon 1984: "Down, Muddy."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Don't mind him. He's just hungry."
Kai Bahamut: (ah.) "Powerful Melee too. This could get ugly. If i can get what i need soon we might be able to head into the other town and cut down your problems..."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Ah dinnow... what about waitin' here in ambush?"
fatalchocolate12: "The second night, they completely brought the building down without magical help, and we were unable to catch them. And last night, they decided to not only go for 3 individual buildings, but targeted all of our active guards
fatalchocolate12: that night!"
WarDragon 1984: "Yes, he's got a point; how do we know they wouldn't be waiting for us if we went over there?"
WarDragon 1984: "Damn..."
Kai Bahamut: "They certainly wouldnt expect a more powerful resistance waiting for them. And the reason they wouldnt be expecting us is because they shouldnt know about us.
Kai Bahamut: "Govener, i need to borrow a set of tclothes. I will head into the other town and try to find out about our foes."
fatalchocolate12: "Now, we hardly have a skeleton crew guarding our town, yet all our guards are at their posts. We need you to deal with them, because they have obviously outclassed us."
WarDragon 1984: "Alone, Zarius?"
Kai Bahamut: "You can come along if you want. Just be sure to take measures to disguise yourself. We dont know how much they know about us. Also be sure to have a good alias."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Yes, they slaughtering you horribly. I hope you have the sufficient funds to rehire our services?"
SpusWidgetwatch: (brb.)
Kai Bahamut: k)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "My alias is: "Skunky the Barfly", but I'll nay be sneakin' into a town. Not too quiet ye see..."
fatalchocolate12: (Wow, never thought I'd hear that from a dwarf. lol)
Kai Bahamut: "...were not sneaking in... Our goal is to look like travelers. On that note, hide your symbols of faith while were in town."
WarDragon 1984: (are we all going, now?)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Heh, I'm rather distinctive either way, ye know? Mayhaps I oughta stay behind?"
WarDragon 1984: "The more go, the more likely we are to attract unwanted attention..."
Kai Bahamut: (I suppose) "Also before i go, i would like a Garrote. (its a kind of wire/rope thing made for chokin." I turn to Muddy. "If you wish, but Eldan is right."
WarDragon 1984: (maybe Zarius should go alone... Muddy and Riza can't be trusted, and somebody's gotta stay and hold their leashes.)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Ah know he's right... ah find it hard to disguise me better attributes." *he strokes his filthy beard*
fatalchocolate12: (you forgot maggot-infested as one of your adjectives)
Kai Bahamut: (Yar. Time for my gather information skill to pay dividends)
WarDragon 1984: (and untrained Disguise.)
Kai Bahamut: (with my charisma its doable and better yet, they shouldnt know my face at all.)
Kai Bahamut: "Govener, do you have a change of clothes i can borrow. That and a Garrote?"
SpusWidgetwatch: (Oh sure...just because I act it and openly declare it, I'm untrustworthy. Pfft.)
fatalchocolate12: "I do have the clothes, but I don't have a Garrote. You might wanna try Meilem. He has all sorts of... fun things."
Kai Bahamut: "Meilem? Where can i find him?"
fatalchocolate12: "How about I just lead you to him? Fortunately, the only thing I had to do today was hope you came, mainly because my workplace was destroyed last night."
Kai Bahamut: "Excellent. Eldan, you and the two clerics help the citys guards men an the soldiers we found prepare a defense. Remember hot oil is your friend."
WarDragon 1984: "Right..."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Hot oil was my friend... until the incident at the massage parlour..."
fatalchocolate12: hahaha
WarDragon 1984: (dude. Ewww.)
Kai Bahamut: (Oo)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Right. Does this town have an alchemist gov?"
fatalchocolate12: oh, and he started walking off toward Meilem's shop
Kai Bahamut: i follow him
WarDragon 1984: "Muddy, Riza, you should get to work healing the soldiers that are still wounded from the fort. We're going to need every man we can get."
fatalchocolate12: "A what? I'm sorry, but I don't know what you mean."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Some one who deals with chemical substances... alchemist's fire? Flaming oil? Thunder stones?"
SpusWidgetwatch: (Should I get my healing boot ready? )
WarDragon 1984: "Heal them however you like, just heal them."
fatalchocolate12: "Hmm... I don't know who would specialize in selling that, but I think we have another reason to go to Meilem
stabs felcher: (Time o' day?)
fatalchocolate12: noon
SpusWidgetwatch: (I'll heal them...heal them to death!)
Kai Bahamut: (Unless you can make them zombies dont do that.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Wish I could.)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Right, well were's this Meilem fellow... him an' I might just get along after all..."
fatalchocolate12: So, you arrive at Meilem's shop
fatalchocolate12: he's a pretty tall, imposing kind of guy. looks like a smuggler
Kai Bahamut: "Hello sir. I need a Garrote."
WarDragon 1984 has left the room.
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza makes herself look just busy enough with the injured to not be scolded, but doesn't do much of anything.
stabs felcher: Muddy ignores his duty and waits to see what Meilem says....
fatalchocolate12: "Hey, governer, how are ya?"
SpusWidgetwatch: (Where's WD?)
fatalchocolate12: I know not
Kai Bahamut: (it said he left. Guess his connection got interuppted)
fatalchocolate12: no, he's still online
stabs felcher: (says he's off for me)
fatalchocolate12: oh, didn't notice he logged off
fatalchocolate12: wierd
SpusWidgetwatch: (He hates us.)
Kai Bahamut: (Oo He'll be back...)
Kai Bahamut: (with any luck)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Greetings, Meneer Meilem. Might you deal in alchemical substances and the like?"
fatalchocolate12: (Why that ungrateful *&(#ing *&$#er! I'm gonna *&(# him up so !@#$ bad that he's gonna #$@% his eye's outta his #($*%&^ nose!!!)
Kai Bahamut: (They always come back...)
fatalchocolate12: "Alchemical substances? I get a lot of stuff, but I'm not always sure what it means. Could you be a little more specific?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "I mean alchemist's fire, flaming oil, tindertwigs, thunderstones, entangling bags..."
fatalchocolate12: "Oh, that stuff! Yeah, I get that. So, what'll ya have?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Well take it all, if you hope to have any chance of the terrorists from the next town over not blowing up your store tonight..."
fatalchocolate12: "All of it? Now, I understand how much of a problem this is for everyone, but I am not forkin' over all of my 'alchemical substances' for free!"
Kai Bahamut: "We will return what goes unused. For all you know we mayt ake them down without needing a one."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Then burn. Look at it as an investment. You give us what we need to defeat these bastards, and tomorrow you get the prime pickings off their charred corpses."
fatalchocolate12: "Fine, but if I- Prime pickings you say? Well, we just might have a deal here."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Indeed. Now what do you have?"
fatalchocolate12: He goes to take stock
SpusWidgetwatch: (Take his stuff, skip town, sell it in another town <_<)
Kai Bahamut: I look around the shelves, seeing if he has a Garrote around.
fatalchocolate12: spot check
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 16
Kai Bahamut: 15 total
fatalchocolate12: you lose
fatalchocolate12: you didn't take 20
Kai Bahamut: ><
fatalchocolate12: you passed, but you still lose
stabs felcher: (that would take 2 minutes... I'm sure he'd be back by then)
Kai Bahamut: (That and even on takign 20 due to penalties it would still be 19
fatalchocolate12: you see a shelf with a bunch of fun, yet perilously tortorous objects, and a garrote happens to be there
Kai Bahamut: "Hahah. Great."
Kai Bahamut: I grab the Garrote.
Kai Bahamut: "The ultimate in choking death. it dosent look dangerous either."
stabs felcher: Muddy *sniff* "But last night... you said I was the ultimate in choking death..."
Kai Bahamut: "Sorry. your being replaced. This works better than your dwarven hands."
Kai Bahamut: "Its other advantge is that it is far more portable."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Me pa always used ta say, "Any work not done with your hands is no such thing" "
fatalchocolate12: Ok, he's comin back, and he says he has 30 acids, 20 alchemist's fires, 9 smokesticks, 7 sunrods, 16 tanglefoot bags, and 15 thunderstones
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Interestin... I'm sure we can make somethin' nifty with this lot..."
Kai Bahamut: "Nice.We will need the acids,fires,tanglefoots and thunderstones and maybe the sunrods. Also i need this Garrote. Im going on a information gathering trip and if i have a chance to choke out one of our foes
Kai Bahamut: "
SpusWidgetwatch: (Flee to next town and sell them.)
fatalchocolate12: "Ok, I'll just need a down payment for this, even though I get best picking rights on their bodies."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Now gov, pay the man."
fatalchocolate12: "30 gold."
stabs felcher: Muddy: *nudges governer* "go on..."
fatalchocolate12: "Oh, all right. But if you don't kill them, I want to be payed back triple!"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Deal."
Kai Bahamut: "You can negoiate the rest of our fee with Riza while i gather information. Now Meilem, how much is the Garrote?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Now lets both cut of our pinkies to seal the promise."
fatalchocolate12: "The garrote? 3 gp."
SpusWidgetwatch: (I'm like not there.)
Kai Bahamut: "Pinky swears do not work like that. And damn thats a lot." (i meant later he could talk with you about our fee. )
SpusWidgetwatch: (I'm annoying the troops.)
Kai Bahamut: I pay him the gold for hte Garrote.
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Now governer, let's see these troops of yours..."
SpusWidgetwatch: (Riza negotiating. "Hey. *STAB IN THE FACE*. Nice doing business with you.")
Kai Bahamut: (that works too.) I change clothes (using a commoner style of dress) and begin the trek to the other town.
Kai Bahamut: (oh yeah, and im armed only with my Garrote, my fists, my spells and my wits.)
fatalchocolate12: was anyone else going with you?
stabs felcher: (I'm staying to prep the troops)
Kai Bahamut: (no. Eldan was going to stay and keep an eye on the clerics of death. They are sure to get into misadventures. Of killing.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (As I said, I'm torturing the troops. )
Kai Bahamut: (anyway, i go to the neighboring town.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Selling your booty?)
fatalchocolate12: (to gays?)
Kai Bahamut: (No. I am not a whore. I am a pimp. I need to go collect money from my Tiefling bitches.)
Kai Bahamut: "Only a 100gp? Is Zarius gonna have to whack a ho'?"
SpusWidgetwatch: (I meant his alchemical booty. Yer the ones with dirty minds.)
Kai Bahamut: (no. Im on a information gathering trip. And a 'choke the heroes to death' trip.)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza kicks a soldier in the gut then walks away whistling.
Kai Bahamut: When i get to town i begin gathering information about their new help.
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I'll stop kicking you in the gut if you stop lying down and complaining about your lack of spleen."
SpusWidgetwatch: (I'm a motivator.)
fatalchocolate12: (Is the spleen used for anything?
fatalchocolate12: )
Kai Bahamut: (Yes. It works kinda like your kidneys. But it is a very mysterious organ)
SpusWidgetwatch: (I dunno. Think it's pretty important to have though.)
fatalchocolate12: ok, so kai, roll your gather infor check
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 16
Kai Bahamut: +7 to that
Kai Bahamut: 23 i think
fatalchocolate12: ... you figure out if OJ was innocent or not
SpusWidgetwatch: (You can add! Astounding.)
Kai Bahamut: (I know. Its incrediable. And i help OJ find the real killer)
fatalchocolate12: Which is...
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 2 6-sided dice: 2 3
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 20-sided die: 1
fatalchocolate12: ME!
SpusWidgetwatch: (I CONFESS!)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Damn you.)
fatalchocolate12: I'M THE KILLER, AND SPUS IS A COPYCATTING LIIIIIIIAR!!!!!
Kai Bahamut: OJ:*uses epic stab to kill you both*
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 19
Kai Bahamut: And i get him off of all charges related to your murders.
fatalchocolate12: I use epicuncritandmakeintofail
fatalchocolate12: HE DIES MUAHAHAHAHAHA
SpusWidgetwatch: (Put all your ranks in Profession: Lawyer?)
Kai Bahamut: Hahahhaha
SpusWidgetwatch: (No wait, that's Bluff..)
Kai Bahamut: (I do want to put a lot of ranks into bluff. A villina lives or dies by how well he lies)
Kai Bahamut: anyway, what do i find out about our enemy?
SpusWidgetwatch: (I only got a +8 to Diplomacy. I'm a mediocre Diplomancer.)
fatalchocolate12: you find out they are a blessing upon their fair town, they are heroes of light in a dark time, blahblahblah<insert random praise here>
SpusWidgetwatch: (Find out if they have a woman obsessed with healing people among them <_<)
stabs felcher: right... anything useful?

[Spus]

Kai Bahamut: "Is on of them a woman dedicated to helaing the wounded?"
fatalchocolate12: no, not really
fatalchocolate12: no one has met them
Kai Bahamut: I ask where they are staying.
fatalchocolate12: Inn.
SpusWidgetwatch: (I'm totally expecting the good twins, ignore me.)
Kai Bahamut: I go to Inn and look for them.
Kai Bahamut: (We may get them, we may not.)
fatalchocolate12: Ok, there happen to be 3 inns at that town
Kai Bahamut: "Brew and Spew... dosent look like a place Light Warriors would hang out at..."
Kai Bahamut: "Neither does teh Drunken Mermaid..."
Kai Bahamut: I visit all three looking for them.
stabs felcher: (hehehe check the Blushing Mermaid)
fatalchocolate12: ok, the last one is a place called "llen's"
fatalchocolate12: *Allen's
Kai Bahamut: I go inside and use detect good. Lots of detect good.
fatalchocolate12: you walk up to the door and are about to enter, when you hear a man shouting from the back, "What goes there?"
Kai Bahamut: "A travler, needing a place to rest his feet before continuing on."
fatalchocolate12: "You are not a traveler, fiend!"
SpusWidgetwatch: (They detect evil!)
Kai Bahamut: "What? What are you talking about?" (Why havsent my detect good detected them, then?)
SpusWidgetwatch: (THey're faster detect slingers.)
fatalchocolate12: yeah, you detected them
Kai Bahamut: Good,bad or ugly?
stabs felcher: (well what do they look like?)
fatalchocolate12: good
fatalchocolate12: like, super good
Kai Bahamut: (ah, crud.) "Who do you think you are anyway?"
Kai Bahamut: I go into the tavern and try to find the voice and his companions.
fatalchocolate12: You don't get a response. You hear rumbling coming out from a good few yards behind the door that matches the sound your mom made in bed last night
fatalchocolate12: OOOOOH BUUUUUUURNED!!!!
Kai Bahamut: I move away from in front of the door.
fatalchocolate12: you are on the outside?
Kai Bahamut: I havent gone into the bar yet, so yeah
fatalchocolate12: just checking
fatalchocolate12: and doth the dinner bell rights
fatalchocolate12: voy a cenar
Kai Bahamut: *rings
Kai Bahamut: "Huh?"
Kai Bahamut: "What in the name of Celestia is going on here?"
SpusWidgetwatch: (He's eating dinner.)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza kicks another guard for no reason.
Kai Bahamut: I slowly enter the inn.
Kai Bahamut: Guard:"hy do you kick me so?"
Kai Bahamut: As i enter i take a quick sweep of everyone in there.
SpusWidgetwatch: "Stop lying around and you'll avoid my wrath. Lazy troops."
Kai Bahamut: Guard:"But my legs are broken."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Not my problem. Walk on your hands."
Kai Bahamut: Guard:*Does so, carrying a bow wtih his feet*
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Good. I won't kick you anymore. At least until I get bored."
Kai Bahamut: Guard:*starts running on his hands*
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I'm a very reasonable person. Anyone else need 'motivation'?"
Kai Bahamut: Guards:*shake their heads 'no*
SpusWidgetwatch: (I shall take the position of team motivator.)
Kai Bahamut: ( im still waiting to find out if i get smited or not by the paladin in there)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Could be a G Cleric or Wizard with the detect spell as well heh)
Kai Bahamut: (Its usally the paladin whose detecting evil often enough to catch a guy coming in the door. And fatal has left us
SpusWidgetwatch: (He's getting dinner.)
Kai Bahamut: ah
stabs felcher: *waits*
Kai Bahamut: I want to get to punchin'. Or runnin'
SpusWidgetwatch: So we scared off WD? :-(
stabs felcher: probably ...
Kai Bahamut: Is he not online?
stabs felcher: still off. Anyway, you two going to be around thursday?
Kai Bahamut: yes
SpusWidgetwatch: Likely. Barring Spontaneous Combustion, Armegeddon, 2nd coming of Christ, etc.
Kai Bahamut: Hopefully Christ will be sidetracked by the X-Box 360
stabs felcher: good good.
Kai Bahamut: Jesus:"This is almost as cool as i am. I think ill put off coming back for a bit more..."
SpusWidgetwatch: Nah, Jesus is totally wise enough not to buy into the hype.
Kai Bahamut: WWJP? (what would jesus play?)
SpusWidgetwatch: GTA. The Son of god gets pissed off too- and since he's a pacifist, he has to take out his agressions somewhere.
Kai Bahamut: SSBM. One of the best fighting games ever.
SpusWidgetwatch: Maybe Jesus would totally be what the asshole fundies think he is.
SpusWidgetwatch: I'd want to punch that Jesus in the face.
Kai Bahamut: A bad day for libreals everywhere...
Kai Bahamut: Jesus woudl be the end boss of the world. use a shotgun and aim for the face.
SpusWidgetwatch: You'd shoot Jesus?
Kai Bahamut: You'd think one shot would do him in? If this is 'NRA Jesus' You can bet he has soem heavy firepower on him. Like a chain rocket launcher.
SpusWidgetwatch: Like he used to defeat the Romans with Moses.
Kai Bahamut: Moses was providing sniper fire.
Kai Bahamut: *rolls to hti jesus*
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 13
Kai Bahamut: Jesus would have the powers of a rank 20 deity.
Kai Bahamut: I wonder if someone has statted Jesus using d20 modern?
SpusWidgetwatch: Probably has some crazy matrix dodging skills.
Kai Bahamut: And he cant be flanked, because he can watch you mastrubate and cry when you finish.
SpusWidgetwatch: Jesus is a pervert.
Kai Bahamut: "Im a sinner and gods a pervert!"
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 8
SpusWidgetwatch: You can't hit Jesus.
Kai Bahamut: Yep. but i can try before he decies to splater me with his rocket launcher.
SpusWidgetwatch: BFG9000 toting Jesus.
Kai Bahamut: eeep
Kai Bahamut: I wish Fatal would get back before we get bored and do something like inade hell.
Kai Bahamut: *invade
SpusWidgetwatch: We're evil. Why would we invade hell. We'd kill Jesus.
SpusWidgetwatch: If we can figure out what the hell his AC is.
Kai Bahamut: AC100
Kai Bahamut: Plus he Auto-True Resurections himself upon death
Kai Bahamut: And has 2,006 hp
Kai Bahamut: And DR the most damage your weapon can do/--
Kai Bahamut: We need a bigger gun...
SpusWidgetwatch: We can magic missile him to death?
Kai Bahamut: We can give it a shot.
stabs felcher: nope, he has total concealment from his robe...
SpusWidgetwatch: Does Jesus have spell resistance?
Kai Bahamut: Let see... SR 3000
Kai Bahamut: even more against Divine spells
stabs felcher: Yup. And Power Resistance.
SpusWidgetwatch: Jesus is obviously a 20favored soul/20 cleric/20 druid/20 monk/20 everything else
SpusWidgetwatch: Jesus can kick our ass.
SpusWidgetwatch: Too bad he's a pacifist.
Kai Bahamut: Apostle of Peace 20 can still do plenty to kick our ass without hurting us.
Kai Bahamut: And he can always just send the angels to do hsi dirty work
Kai Bahamut: Hmm...
Kai Bahamut: Its time for CSI.
SpusWidgetwatch: 3 gestalt level 2s....you don't need to be a major religious figure to kick our ass though heh
stabs felcher: you just need to be anything that's not a commoner
Kai Bahamut: Im going to watch CSI. Ill be back during the commercials to see if fatal has returned
SpusWidgetwatch: We could totally kill a kobold.
fatalchocolate12: hey, i was watchin CSI too!
Kai Bahamut: wait.
Kai Bahamut: Dotn tell me that had regular CSI on at 7?
Kai Bahamut: did they?
Kai Bahamut: nvm me. im getting confused with thursdya
Kai Bahamut: Anyway, do i get smited by the paladin when i go into the in
stabs felcher: so we playing?
fatalchocolate12: sorry, just reading your plans to kill jesus and invade hell
Kai Bahamut: WE failed -_-
Kai Bahamut: He was too powerful and my shotgun too weak...
fatalchocolate12: pretty good stuff if I do sa-- YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE AND GO STRAIT TO HELL WHERE YOU WILL DIE AND GO TO HELL AFTER HELL
Kai Bahamut: Yes i am.
SpusWidgetwatch: For plotting to kill Jesus? You think he's that vengeful?
fatalchocolate12: no, for invading hell, you morons
Kai Bahamut: Ill invade hell wheneer i damn well please
fatalchocolate12: allright, so, back to teh paladin that wants to smite kai with his awesome semi-partial jesus powers
Kai Bahamut: I enter the inn slowly ready to run and try to look for the paladin and hsi friends.
fatalchocolate12: You see them sprinting at you. All 3 of them.
Kai Bahamut: What do they look like?
fatalchocolate12: one's a big guy with your classic axe and muslces, dressed like a pally
fatalchocolate12: another happens to look like the robe he was wearing is smoking drugs, with all the swirly tie-die stuff of blue and green and crap
fatalchocolate12: and one has this big-ass staff that looks painful
fatalchocolate12: and the last one is dressed in white
SpusWidgetwatch: (The Hippy is totally the Anti-Riza. <_<)
Kai Bahamut: (Paladin,Wizard, Cleric) I run. Very fast.
Kai Bahamut: "What the hell do you think your doing? I havent done anything?"
fatalchocolate12: "DIE BEING FROM HELL!"
SpusWidgetwatch: (Run Zarius, run.)
Kai Bahamut: "Could you at least tell me my crime before delivering horrible death!?"
fatalchocolate12: "KILL HIMI!!!" roars the big guy as you race through town
SpusWidgetwatch: ("Being from hell. Good enough."
Kai Bahamut: "THERE TRYING TO KILL ME!! THEY'VE BEEN POSSED BY DEMONS!"
Kai Bahamut: "YOU MUST TIE THEM DOWN AND GET A YOUNG PRIEST AND A OLD PRIEST!''
fatalchocolate12: (What about that super hot female priest?)
Kai Bahamut: (where?)
fatalchocolate12: (lol, sorry, you chose wrong)
Kai Bahamut: (Can i bluff the populus into makingt hem think they are possed
fatalchocolate12: everyone is taking in what you are saying, and what they are saying, so they have no clue what to do and just watch like a cow staring at an oncoming train
SpusWidgetwatch: (Can I kick another defenseless ally for no reason?)
Kai Bahamut: "ONCE THEY KILL ME THEY WILL COME FOR YOU!"
Kai Bahamut: "THEY NO LONGER CONTROL THERE BODIES!"
fatalchocolate12: you can kick jonny, WD, and Shorty
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza does so.
Kai Bahamut: (kick them really hard)
fatalchocolate12: the people just watch in awe as you are run for your life down the streets
SpusWidgetwatch: With extra effort.
Kai Bahamut: I keep running till i make it our of town.
Kai Bahamut: *out
Kai Bahamut: "Of all the paladins.... a genocidal one killing everything that registers as evil with no respect for the law.
fatalchocolate12: ok, you have a few options here
fatalchocolate12: you can run back to your town and hope to god they can save you
fatalchocolate12: you can go swimming in an attempt to ditch them
fatalchocolate12: you can head the other way on the road
SpusWidgetwatch: (You could break out in an irish jig to confuse them.)
Kai Bahamut: First a running diplomacy check to try and convince them that im not evil.
fatalchocolate12: or you can sprint into the trees and hope to god you don't get clotheslined and it slows them down
Kai Bahamut: (theyve seen my face... may as well try to lead them to town and hope we have enough power to take them down.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (We have Footbow. We can take anything!)
Kai Bahamut: "Im so glad Martel took me on those runs. Otherwise i dont think id be able to this."
fatalchocolate12: yeah, might wanna thank her if you die
Kai Bahamut: (Zarius will be happy at last.)
Kai Bahamut: (but no 20 ft. per round paladin can catch me.)
fatalchocolate12: true, but the other 2 don't have heavy armor
Kai Bahamut: Bah. I have 'afterburners'
fatalchocolate12: ... bean burritos?
Kai Bahamut: Expeditious retreat.
Kai Bahamut: "Hey, slowpokes, keep up if you can!" I continue my brisk jog towards the other town.
Kai Bahamut: "Who the hell are you people anyway?"
stabs felcher: (still back at the town, dancin' away my hunger pains... What's the time in game?)
fatalchocolate12 has left the room.
Kai Bahamut: oO
Kai Bahamut: Just keep dancin away your hunger pains while i get into shape.
stabs felcher: ...super...
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza gains 734,000 exp from kicking fallen guards.
Kai Bahamut: He better coem back. We can have a game without Wardragon but not without a DM
Kai Bahamut: yay
fatalchocolate12 has entered the room.
stabs felcher: well... the game would run faster... -_^
fatalchocolate12: sorry, I was messin with some internet properties because something's wrong
Kai Bahamut: ah
fatalchocolate12: ok, so last I saw, you used expeditious retreat and you are running like hell away from the d00ds
Kai Bahamut: "Tell me, are you guys Deij or just Freelance good guys" (no i didnt use ER. its my back up plan.)
fatalchocolate12: and your reply is (duh), "DIE YOU FIEND OF TRICKERY!"
Kai Bahamut: "Im just asking!"
stabs felcher: (these guys really lack INT)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Good folks. Good folks.)
Kai Bahamut: This time i ask the dope wizard. "Is he always like that?"
fatalchocolate12: (nope, they are just very staunchly anti-evil)
fatalchocolate12: and usually they are all replying when you ask
Kai Bahamut: (oh. I still want tos ee if any can be reasoned with.)
fatalchocolate12: probably not
fatalchocolate12: they are racist against evil
SpusWidgetwatch: (Use your ranks in Profession: Lawyer!)
Kai Bahamut: (My poor Tiefling hoes...)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Play your race/alignment card!)
Kai Bahamut: "Im undercover! Theres a temple of Vecna and Nerull in that city and im trying to root them out! Im a paladin too! I had to have a spell cast on me to change my alignment so i wouldnt be detected
Kai Bahamut: (bluff check if nothing else)
fatalchocolate12: roll
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 20
Kai Bahamut: 25
SpusWidgetwatch: (Sense Motive: 20. DIE FIENDISH SCUM!)
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 20-sided die: 19
fatalchocolate12: ... wow
Kai Bahamut: veeerrry close
fatalchocolate12: sorry bud, you fail
Kai Bahamut: Oo
Kai Bahamut: damn
fatalchocolate12: they get +4 for being bullheaded, and about +10 for obvious reasons
stabs felcher: (Still dancing away hunger pains. Fatal what time in game is it?)
Kai Bahamut: dman
fatalchocolate12: bout 3 pm
Kai Bahamut: Meanwhile, my famliar goes to Muddy and sigsn that im in trouble and heading there way.
stabs felcher: (what is the familiar?)
Kai Bahamut: (A bunny. Sally Sue. duh)
fatalchocolate12: sally sue the guy, remember?
Kai Bahamut: Sally Sue: (Zarius is in danger. Hes coming towards us. Help him.)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "What's that? Zarius is in trouble Sally Sue?! Rally the hordes, men! Everyone remember how to throw alchemist's fire?!"
fatalchocolate12: how does your familiar get there faster than you?
Kai Bahamut: I left him behidn. And bunnys run fast too
fatalchocolate12: then how does he know?
Kai Bahamut: (Empathy and innate connection)
fatalchocolate12: oh, thought you got those at later levels
stabs felcher: (nope, they know each others basic feelings. Like... FEAR BECAUSE I'M BEING CHASED BY PALADINS)
Kai Bahamut: (you get better. Sally Sue cant tell them that its they enemies theyve been waiting for or anything really specific)
fatalchocolate12: cool
Kai Bahamut: I assume as i approach the town i see the guards lined up and ready to fire?
stabs felcher: Erm... if they listened to Muddy..
fatalchocolate12: yeah
fatalchocolate12: but alchemist's fire has a range of 10 feet
SpusWidgetwatch: (Am I still kicking the injured or can it be assumed I was drawn out too?)
fatalchocolate12: you are drawn out too
Kai Bahamut: I cast ER. "Catch me if you can!" I take kepp them following behind me but fast enought hat i dont get hit by the arrows.
fatalchocolate12: what arrows?
Kai Bahamut: Arent they going to shoot the guys chasing me?
fatalchocolate12: they have alchemist's fire
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Hmm....So we're preparing to fight because a bunny hops up to you?"
stabs felcher: (Alchemist's fire's Range Increment is ten feet, but it can be thrown up to fifty feet)
fatalchocolate12: really?
Kai Bahamut: (yep) Sally Sue:-(Yes.)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "This bunny hasn't done me wrong yet! Look at the thing! It's piddling on me shoe!"

[Spus]

Kai Bahamut: stupid emote. Sally Sue: Sorry)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Obviously something's wrong with Zarius... we should head to the other town and make sure he's okay..."
Kai Bahamut: Sally Sue: Hes comign this way...)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I say we cook the damn rabbit. I haven't had any edible meat in days."
Kai Bahamut: Sally Sue Zarius will cook you like he did the elf and wont wait until your dead.)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Stop making noises you stupid rabbit. It's starting to piss me off."
Kai Bahamut: Sally Sue: Makes himself understood by doing what Mr. T does. He corsses his arms and nods his head. Regarless of the situation, he is understood.)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Is there a good recipe for rabbit in that cookbook we found?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Well... -I'm- going to help that poor little pansy... c'mon Sally Sue... let's get 'em!"
fatalchocolate12: noppers
SpusWidgetwatch: (was rhetorical, but good to know.)
Kai Bahamut: Sally Sue: (Nods and makes a break for the gates.)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza sighs. "What I do for gold." She draws her Scythe and follows.
fatalchocolate12: ok, kai gets there about 90 seconds before the others will
stabs felcher: Muddy: *Casts Guidance* "Alright, let's save that poor... what was he? Elf?"
Kai Bahamut: SS: (Human)
Kai Bahamut: I come up to the gate with the paladin behind me. "Shoot them while i get my stuff!"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Grr... but I'm no good at distance stuff..." *keeps scythe handy* "Hey Riza, we could call ourselves the scythe sisters!"
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"....No."
Kai Bahamut: SS: (Your a guy, muddy)
fatalchocolate12: ok, so as soon as they are in range, the paladin and priest keep running forward, but the wiz stays back and begins casting
Kai Bahamut: I punch up my ER to its full speed and zoom by Muddy and Riza and look for my stuff.
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Oh... right... thanks fer remindin' me."
Kai Bahamut: nvm
stabs felcher: (initiative? I want to hit them)
Kai Bahamut: I whip around and make way for the caster
Kai Bahamut: (essentially and full speed i try to zoom towards the caster at 60ft. per round)
fatalchocolate12: ok
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 20
Kai Bahamut: Oo
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 20-sided die: 10
Kai Bahamut: good day, today is
stabs felcher: (I'm on 9)
fatalchocolate12: bs, we started school
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 20-sided die: 8
fatalchocolate12: it's not good
SpusWidgetwatch: (12)
Kai Bahamut: Tommrow i start school
fatalchocolate12: and my blizzard downloader hates me : )
fatalchocolate12: : (*
Kai Bahamut: Lets get to to the beat down, shall we?
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 3 20-sided dice: 12 8 11
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 20-sided die: 8
fatalchocolate12: ok, pally gets 15,, priest gets 10, mage gets 12, your allies get 9
Kai Bahamut: And have a 20
stabs felcher: (how far away are they anyhow?)
fatalchocolate12: mage is 50 feet away, other 2 are about 25 right now
Kai Bahamut: I telepathically tell Sally Sue to find some guards to get my stuff.
fatalchocolate12: what did muddy and riza get?
fatalchocolate12: for init, I mean
stabs felcher: (9)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Hmm...can I ready a thrown spell to interupt mages?)
SpusWidgetwatch: (12)
Kai Bahamut: (im going for the mage)
Kai Bahamut: (and old fashioned beat down from a guy whose best friend was a monk who he had to help spar with.)
stabs felcher: (............)
Kai Bahamut: (Zarius got beaten down a lot...) I charge the mage and try to tackle him down.
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 18
Kai Bahamut: 20 hit?
fatalchocolate12: yeah
Kai Bahamut: When hes down ont he ground i commence Garrote Stangulation
fatalchocolate12: did you rush?
Kai Bahamut: AS in charge him?
fatalchocolate12: that's what I meant
Kai Bahamut: yes
Kai Bahamut: So what happens?
fatalchocolate12: I don't think you can garrote someone on the same turn you charge him
Kai Bahamut: Ok
Kai Bahamut: Ill do that next turn
stabs felcher: (just smack him for now)
Kai Bahamut: Can i grapple to prepare him for strangulation?
stabs felcher: (I think that's how it goes. Grapple him now, then Pin next turn for strangulation)
Kai Bahamut: okay
Kai Bahamut: I grapple him. "Stay down!"
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 5
Kai Bahamut: and my luck just ran out
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 20-sided die: 5
SpusWidgetwatch: (aren't you a PoT?)
Kai Bahamut: (Yeah)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Ye may of won )
fatalchocolate12: I think he did
Kai Bahamut: I dotn have a strength bonus
SpusWidgetwatch: (Neither do Wizards typically.)
stabs felcher: (you've got BAB at least)
Kai Bahamut: oh right!
Kai Bahamut: yeah i do win
fatalchocolate12: wait, you don't have str? I think you lost
Kai Bahamut: I have +2 BAB
Kai Bahamut: good lord, since when does a wizard have strenght?
fatalchocolate12: these guys are insanely powerful
stabs felcher: *sighs*
Kai Bahamut: So whats his total?
fatalchocolate12: 8
Kai Bahamut: Oo he does win. Christ 16 strenght on a wizard... He must be barbarian too...
fatalchocolate12: actually, the gay hippie robe is mostly what's doin it for him
SpusWidgetwatch: (or he has some BAB)
fatalchocolate12: well, that too
stabs felcher: (who's next?)
Kai Bahamut: Is he a Rastafarian druid?
fatalchocolate12: no, next is the paladin
stabs felcher: ... well I'm not the paladin, so someone do something >_>
fatalchocolate12: sorry, I'm still tryin to sort out this goddamn dload problem
stabs felcher: well.... do you have to do it now?
Kai Bahamut: THe paladin is getting restless
fatalchocolate12: fine, the palladin goes for riza
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 20-sided die: 16
fatalchocolate12: I think that's a hit
stabs felcher: (what armour do the two tough guys have?)
SpusWidgetwatch: (yes)
fatalchocolate12: why would I blow the surprise telling you now?
stabs felcher: (well we should be able to see if they're naked or wearing plate mail...)
fatalchocolate12: oh, thought you meant what's their AC
Kai Bahamut: Cleric:100 Paladin:1 million and rising
SpusWidgetwatch: (The Cleric is Jesus?)
fatalchocolate12: lol, what an optimist
fatalchocolate12: lol
SpusWidgetwatch: (You going to roll damage or No?)
SpusWidgetwatch: (And what is he using?)
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 20-sided die: 4
Kai Bahamut: Oo
Kai Bahamut: HES A MONK!
fatalchocolate12: ok, Riza please tell me that you actually have a bonus to AC
SpusWidgetwatch: ( I want a 1d20 weapon.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (14 ac)
Kai Bahamut: (Become a monk. your fists our weapons
fatalchocolate12: good
SpusWidgetwatch: (Wait, he threated with a 16?)
fatalchocolate12: what? no
SpusWidgetwatch: (why'd youroll another d20?)
fatalchocolate12: oh, whoops, I forgot I already rolled
SpusWidgetwatch: (I'll take the 4 if you really want me to.)
fatalchocolate12: sorry, the first day back to school always messes me up
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 10-sided die: 3
fatalchocolate12: 7 damage
SpusWidgetwatch: (What is he using anyway?)
fatalchocolate12: looks like a sledgehammer
fatalchocolate12: except bigger
fatalchocolate12: and harder
SpusWidgetwatch: (I believe I'm next. I introduce him to Captain Tentanus.)
fatalchocolate12: lol
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 20-sided die: 20
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 20-sided die: 4
Kai Bahamut: damn
SpusWidgetwatch: (5 to confirm? :-()
stabs felcher: damn, missed that x4 mod...
fatalchocolate12: depends, does rolling a natural 20 reduce his AC?
fatalchocolate12: ok, you hit, but no crittage
SpusWidgetwatch: (C'mon, -4 dex penalty, flaw to AC, spontaneous urge to take armor off midswing?)
Kai Bahamut: (can he at lest get Tetanus?)
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 2 4-sided dice: 3 2
fatalchocolate12: sorry, tetanus only on confirmed crits
SpusWidgetwatch: (5. Accursed lack of Str Mod.) 5 foot step back and be done.)
fatalchocolate12: k
stabs felcher: Who's next? I'm on 9
fatalchocolate12: wizard
fatalchocolate12: since he won the grapple, does he get do either leave of try and win again?
stabs felcher: he can leave or try again
fatalchocolate12: leaveing requires a move action, right?
stabs felcher: that'd be it.
fatalchocolate12: k, good thing for him he has quicken spell
fatalchocolate12: another plus for him, he has fireball
Kai Bahamut: Oo
stabs felcher: Right... so he's level 17 at least
Kai Bahamut: Holy fuck!
Kai Bahamut: (commence crying)
fatalchocolate12: fireball? @ lvl 17?
Kai Bahamut: having enough caster levels to quicken it
stabs felcher: You need to be level 17 to be able to quicken a fireball.
Kai Bahamut: If he has fireball, hes at least 5th level
fatalchocolate12: oh, yeah, lol, you would so love his staff
fatalchocolate12: dun worry, he's not lvl 17
fatalchocolate12: and you guys will get equipment to compensate for the discrepancy
SpusWidgetwatch: (I have captain Tentanus- what equipment <_<)
Kai Bahamut: If hes 5th level thats still too much for us to do without a lot of luck or back up. Speaking of that have the soldeirs coem to help/ bring me my weapons.)
fatalchocolate12: they do that after Muddy >_>
fatalchocolate12: anyhow, back to the fireball
Kai Bahamut: (hooray)
fatalchocolate12: yeah, he targets the area most densely packed area of commoners, which happens to have muddy in the blast radius
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 3 6-sided dice: 2 4 4
Kai Bahamut: Nice knowing you, mudy
stabs felcher: *dies*
fatalchocolate12: you don't even have 10 hp?
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 6-sided die: 3
Kai Bahamut: I barely got 12
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 20-sided die: 19
stabs felcher: Never mind, my save is awesome -_^
Kai Bahamut: And im on d10 HD
stabs felcher: but I guess I'm standing in a pile of charred commoners. Kai did you take your AoO?
fatalchocolate12: yeah, kai gets one of those
Kai Bahamut: (no.
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"That was totally uncalled for! Even I wouldn't do that unless I became really bored!"

[Spus]

stabs felcher: (go on, whack him then. And my turn right?)
Kai Bahamut: I get up, take out my Garrote, wrap it around the wizards neck while hes busy and begin choking taking time to plant my knee into his back to keep him from fighting back.
SpusWidgetwatch: (Morality Lesson. From Riza. Yeah.)
Kai Bahamut: (Meanwhile enjoy the sounds of silence from the wizard)
fatalchocolate12: ok, so the commoners are dead except for 2
fatalchocolate12: fortunately kai told you guys' soldiers that you found near Gerren's fortress to get his equipment, so they're save
fatalchocolate12: safe
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Feh." Riza spits towards the Paladin(Is spitting a free action?)
Kai Bahamut: (They better hurry up with it
fatalchocolate12: and muddy takes 10 damge
Kai Bahamut: (btw to escape a garrote chokingis a grapple at -4
fatalchocolate12: damage*
Kai Bahamut: No he takes half because he saved
stabs felcher: (I made my save, unless he has 25 INT)
fatalchocolate12: how does a 3 save?
Kai Bahamut: He rolled 19
stabs felcher: that was a d6. On the d20 I got 19
fatalchocolate12: OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 6-sided die: 3
fatalchocolate12: oh, wow, I just realized that was a d6
stabs felcher: yup... six sides... look at the d20...
fatalchocolate12: ok, we better stop tonight before I kill all of you in an unfortunate smelting accident
stabs felcher: now who's up?
Kai Bahamut: No. Its bad to stop in th middle of a battle. I will see them dead
Kai Bahamut: i think stabs or the cleric
stabs felcher: I at least want to smite something.
fatalchocolate12: allright, so muddy instead takes 5
fatalchocolate12: I believe preist goes now
stabs felcher: wait he was last, I'm before him. (9)
fatalchocolate12: It looks like I put the priest gets 10
stabs felcher: go then
J0nnyG420 has entered the room.
J0nnyG420: allo to all, sorry I just got in the door
Kai Bahamut: Calvary!
Kai Bahamut: Welcome back
J0nnyG420: ty
fatalchocolate12: now, if only everyone else would show up
Kai Bahamut: Were busy fighting a group of more than equal and opposite heroes
Kai Bahamut: THEY CAST FUCKING FIREBALLS!
J0nnyG420: bastards
stabs felcher: Quickened Fireballs
J0nnyG420: even better
Kai Bahamut: Yep
fatalchocolate12: it's the staff that allows quicken
fatalchocolate12: seriously, the staff pizzowns
J0nnyG420: I'll sunder it :-)
fatalchocolate12: as does most of their equipment
Kai Bahamut: Get Bessie out there with my soldiers and kill there ass's. Im unarmed and busy grappling witht he wizard
stabs felcher: the priest going any time soon?
Kai Bahamut: Im goign to choke the wizard to death.
J0nnyG420: ok, I need a description of the battlefield as things are right now
J0nnyG420: so I can make best use of bessie's amazing killing skills
stabs felcher: A pally, a priest, a wizard are attacking us. That's about it.
fatalchocolate12: yeah, they kapwn with their 1337 equipment
Kai Bahamut: Were in just in front of the town gates, fighting with all our might
J0nnyG420: I'll take the pally down
Kai Bahamut: I called for reinforcemetns and my equipment with my bunny
SpusWidgetwatch: (I spit on the Paladin.)
fatalchocolate12: yeah, you missed 7 soldiers gettimg vaporized with the fireball
Kai Bahamut: Yeah
Kai Bahamut: The goddamn fireball
J0nnyG420: (And they did their job admirably)
J0nnyG420: (namely... dying for us)
J0nnyG420: (wonderful thing about that is that now they are no longer on the payroll)
Kai Bahamut: I thought they were peasents? nevermind then
fatalchocolate12: ok, so priest is walkin up ready so beat in kai's skull with his mace/club/blunt beating instrument
Kai Bahamut: "Stand back or he dies!"
J0nnyG420: (Do we know of which deity the priest is?)
Kai Bahamut: i usethe mage as a human shield
Kai Bahamut: (Peolore or Heironeous.)
stabs felcher: (I'll roll ye old knowledge; Religion to ID him)
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 20-sided die: 7
Kai Bahamut: (ill do that too since i have good knowledge too)
stabs felcher: (13)
J0nnyG420: Timmet: "Heh... priest eh? Have to stand behind some divine favor in order to fight? Pathetic"
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 18
Kai Bahamut: 18
fatalchocolate12: before I begin to feel like making other memory mistakes, I'm gonna call him a cleric
Kai Bahamut: "Timmet? When did you get here? Train the troops like i asked you?"
fatalchocolate12: (yeah, they were good meatsacks while they lasted)
J0nnyG420: "Absolutely, They were borin me tho, so I had to leave them behind, they're supposed to catch up soon"
J0nnyG420: "well... the ones that survived anyway"
fatalchocolate12: fireball=anti-commoner
Kai Bahamut: "Good. I need a weapon. They better have something i can use."
J0nnyG420: "I had them bring what you asked"
J0nnyG420: "You owe me"
J0nnyG420: "Now... (looks at pally and cleric) Which one of you wants to die first?"
Kai Bahamut: "I just got finished paying back Muddy. But i pay my debts, Dont you worry."
J0nnyG420: (i.e. which is closer?)
J0nnyG420 has left the room.
Kai Bahamut: Oo
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"We were paying them...?"
Kai Bahamut: Damn inconvient time to leave
fatalchocolate12: oh, yeah, he does that goddamn thing with aim
Kai Bahamut: "Not us personally.)
fatalchocolate12: pops in and out
J0nnyG420 has entered the room.
stabs felcher: (is the damn Cleric going to do something?)
fatalchocolate12: nope, he can't hit you, so he just stands there, reading his mace
J0nnyG420: (I'm charging the cleric)
J0nnyG420: (raging no less)
Kai Bahamut: (The paladin is closer i think)
J0nnyG420: (make that charging the cleric)
J0nnyG420: (errr the paladin****)
Kai Bahamut: (But go get em'
fatalchocolate12: ok, so you charge the paladin
J0nnyG420: "Sorry fella, but this is no spectator sport"
Kai Bahamut: I got an 18 on the knowledge religon check. Do i now what faith the Cleric is?
OnlineHost: J0nnyG420 rolled 1 20-sided die: 16
J0nnyG420: +9 = 25
fatalchocolate12: heironius
Kai Bahamut: ah.
fatalchocolate12: ok, you hit the pallyi
J0nnyG420: (+2 BAB, +5 str(raging), +2 charging)
OnlineHost: J0nnyG420 rolled 1 12-sided die: 7
J0nnyG420: +7
Kai Bahamut: Pain
J0nnyG420: 14 dmg
fatalchocolate12: damn
fatalchocolate12: ok, his armor prevent him getting cut, but it fuckin hurts
J0nnyG420: (DR?)
Kai Bahamut: Your turn stabs.
fatalchocolate12: no DR
J0nnyG420: (ok, I was worried for a second)
stabs felcher: Right. Muddy charges the cleric, screaming "DEATH TO THE FAITHFUL!"
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 20-sided die: 18
fatalchocolate12: nice
J0nnyG420: (indeed)
stabs felcher: (27 hit?)
fatalchocolate12: these guys are good, but they aren't that good, 27 hits
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 2 4-sided dice: 4 2
J0nnyG420: (shit I forgot to use power attack... I'm silly)
stabs felcher: (that's 9 damage)
fatalchocolate12: nice
SpusWidgetwatch: (Better than me, I only did 5.)
J0nnyG420 has left the room.
stabs felcher: (Grr... fear the cleric with bigger strength than wis -_^)
J0nnyG420 has entered the room.
J0nnyG420: (that is very aggrivating)
stabs felcher: (back to Kai?)
fatalchocolate12: allright, now the soldiers bring kai his stuff
SpusWidgetwatch: (Of course, I'm more efficient at burning things.)
fatalchocolate12: 1 get's AoO'ed by the priest and the other by the pally
Kai Bahamut: My turn again. I keep choking the Wizard, taking time to get my spiked chain. I let the Garrote loose and wrap my chain around his neck. Then i pull it as tight as i can.
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 2 20-sided dice: 4 19
Kai Bahamut: (He dies. But so does the wizard)
fatalchocolate12: yeah, 1 that gets hit by cleric=pwned
fatalchocolate12: the pally misses
fatalchocolate12: allright, back to kai
J0nnyG420: Timmet: "I love the smell of offal in the morning"
Kai Bahamut: I already told you what did. I got my spiked chain, wrapped it aroudnt he wizards neck and pulled. hard.
SpusWidgetwatch: (I thought I went after the Paladin?)
fatalchocolate12: allright, how much damage do you deal?
Kai Bahamut: Its a coup de grace.
J0nnyG420: Is the wizard helpless tho? You can't Coup de Grace if he's not helpless
fatalchocolate12: for a coup de grace you need at least 3 rounds of preparation, right? or am I thinkin of something like death attack
Kai Bahamut: If you wrapped a spiky chain around someones neck and pulled, id expect the head to come off. Hes been being choked for two rounds.
J0nnyG420: that's death attack
Kai Bahamut: I think its a full round action
J0nnyG420: a coup de grace is a full roun action
J0nnyG420: that provokes an AoO
Kai Bahamut: But hes been being choked for about two rounds
Kai Bahamut: Hes in no posistion to attack. And there are some soldiers with my stuf who can beat him dwon too.
stabs felcher: (then deal weapon damage and consider him suffocating)
fatalchocolate12: you released the pressure on his throat to switch weapons, which buys him about another round until he starts to pass out from loss of oxygen
J0nnyG420: make a fort save for the wizard, I'd say 10 + damage dealt?
fatalchocolate12: yeah, that works
Kai Bahamut: right
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 2 4-sided dice: 1 3

[Spus]

J0nnyG420: 14
Kai Bahamut: Yep.
J0nnyG420: + str
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 20-sided die: 20
J0nnyG420: ... and he makes it
Kai Bahamut: Damn
fatalchocolate12: that is 1 lucky wizard
J0nnyG420: no shit
J0nnyG420 has left the room.
Kai Bahamut: Yeah but next round ill still be doing damage. and hes bleeding pretty damn bad too. From spikes in his neck.
fatalchocolate12: allright, now the paladin's turn, right?
J0nnyG420 has left the room.
J0nnyG420 has entered the room.
SpusWidgetwatch: (Believe so)
Kai Bahamut: it said you left the room twice...
J0nnyG420: yea, I got "booted" then *booted*
fatalchocolate12: allright, the paladin now begins to look funny
J0nnyG420: retraded
SpusWidgetwatch: (STOP SCREWING WITH THE TIME SPACE CONTINIUM.)
fatalchocolate12: like, pissed funny
J0nnyG420: (So it seems my practice is paying off ;-))
Kai Bahamut: (Oh yeah, i tell the soldiers to help muddy with the cleric) "Men, go help the dwarf!"
fatalchocolate12: he starts to look red in the face, and the starts to yell
fatalchocolate12: and he sprints strait at kai
J0nnyG420: Timmet: "You hurt me ears... I'll give you something to scream about!"
SpusWidgetwatch: (Palbarian?)
J0nnyG420: he provokes an AoO from me
WarDragon 1984 has entered the room.
fatalchocolate12: not palbarian
Kai Bahamut: "Fool. He is already dead
WarDragon 1984: (holy crap, the game's still going?)
J0nnyG420: (yes)
fatalchocolate12: I'm gonna end thisi session soon
Kai Bahamut: (yep. Now get blasting. aim for the paladin)
Kai Bahamut: When the battles over
fatalchocolate12: allright, do your AoO
WarDragon 1984: alright. Let me know when I'm up.
J0nnyG420: (using power attack: cost 2)
OnlineHost: J0nnyG420 rolled 1 20-sided die: 12
J0nnyG420: +7
J0nnyG420: 19
WarDragon 1984: (fighting our Good twins?)
Kai Bahamut: (Yep. I just got armed and am busy choking their wizard to death)
J0nnyG420: (19 hit?)
fatalchocolate12: ok, your hit connects, very solidly in fact, but he pretty much just shrugs it off and keeps running for kai
J0nnyG420: can I roll damage?
Kai Bahamut: Charge also gives a -2 AC
J0nnyG420: yea I kno, I'm sitting on 14 AC
OnlineHost: J0nnyG420 rolled 1 12-sided die: 5
fatalchocolate12: believe me, you miss, but the -2 thing makes you get closer to it
J0nnyG420: +5 str
J0nnyG420: +4 from power attack
J0nnyG420: so 14 damage again
J0nnyG420: you just said I hit tho lol
Kai Bahamut: But not enough to do damage.
J0nnyG420: ok....
Kai Bahamut: I raise up the wizard as a human sheild again.
fatalchocolate12: yeah, its almost like he canceled it out
J0nnyG420: I just don't see how I can hit solidly
J0nnyG420: and not do damge
J0nnyG420: damage even
WarDragon 1984: (that's a lotta DR)
Kai Bahamut: Divine Fury i suspect
fatalchocolate12: think of it as he counterbalances your strike
fatalchocolate12: canceling it out
J0nnyG420: ok.....
fatalchocolate12: don't worry, you will get some fun stuff too
SpusWidgetwatch: (Me turn to strike?)
fatalchocolate12: no, he runs up to kai, who is holding chokingmage
Kai Bahamut: (I should get a AC bonus for my human sheild.)
Kai Bahamut: (Or a miss chance.
J0nnyG420: partial concealment
Kai Bahamut: (yeah. if he misses he might hit his buddy.)
stabs felcher: (he counts as cover, +4, not miss chance)
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 20-sided die: 5
J0nnyG420: hmm... that's a shame
WarDragon 1984: (If you're considered grappled, you do.)
fatalchocolate12: you forget, this guy is practically jesus now
fatalchocolate12: and kai has crappy armor
Kai Bahamut: 12. its all ddoge
Kai Bahamut: *dex
J0nnyG420: +4 cover
Kai Bahamut: i cant wear armor anyway
Kai Bahamut: whats his total
fatalchocolate12: nah, his weapon does something kinda funny
WarDragon 1984: (you oughta take Spellsword when we get some levels on us, man.)
fatalchocolate12: it looks like a cheesy movie effect where it goes chokingmage and hits you
fatalchocolate12: hard
fatalchocolate12: very, very hard
Kai Bahamut: (Oo)
Kai Bahamut: Does it go through or around mage
fatalchocolate12: in order to preserve some secrets for later, I will roll damage in private
fatalchocolate12: through
J0nnyG420: that's considered murder
J0nnyG420: and he'd *probably* lose his pally levels
fatalchocolate12: think of it as ethereal for the mage, but physical for you
fatalchocolate12: seriously, these guys have fun equipment
J0nnyG420: obviously
Kai Bahamut: How much damage do i take. Or do i just fall over.
fatalchocolate12: yeah, you fall over
fatalchocolate12: *looks at clock* shit I have to hurry otherwise my dad will go paladin on me!
SpusWidgetwatch: (MY go, status?)
fatalchocolate12: I believe so
stabs felcher: (Kai just died)
fatalchocolate12: it's then mage, right?
stabs felcher: no, spus then mage?
SpusWidgetwatch: Lesser Orb of Fire to the Paladin, then back off 30 feet.
fatalchocolate12: yeah, I meant after spus goes mage
WarDragon 1984: (do I get a turn, at all?)
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 20-sided die: 20
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 20-sided die: 8
SpusWidgetwatch: (9?)
fatalchocolate12: nope
stabs felcher: (Yeah... I'll let you go before me......)
Kai Bahamut has left the room.
J0nnyG420: (awww... I'd have liked to see a critical w/ an orb)
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 8-sided die: 6
SpusWidgetwatch: (7)
fatalchocolate12: hooray!
Kai Bahamut has entered the room.
Kai Bahamut: "Maaarrrtel" I say as if fall over."
fatalchocolate12: please don't tell me you are doing what j0nny does
J0nnyG420: that'd suck
WarDragon 1984: "Damnit, this is not good...."
Kai Bahamut: It does that just every 8 hours
SpusWidgetwatch: (Stop farking with time space continium.)
J0nnyG420: (nah he didn't leave twice)
J0nnyG420: (he isn't that skilled yet ;-))
fatalchocolate12: (NO I LIKE FARKING WI- BOOOM!)
J0nnyG420: (so where do I fall in the turn rotation?)
stabs felcher: (just before Muddy, which is now just after WarDragon)
J0nnyG420: (ok)
fatalchocolate12: anyways, mage starts to glow
fatalchocolate12: he does some magely actions like spell motions and verbal components, and before you see his product, you all get shot off far away, seeing the trees rush beneath your feet
fatalchocolate12: even kai comes with you
J0nnyG420: Timmet: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Spus]

fatalchocolate12: pretty much, yeah
stabs felcher: Muddy: "..."
Kai Bahamut: *no comment*
Kai Bahamut: Sally Sue: Nudges Zarius)
WarDragon 1984: "Oh, hell, my head..."
Kai Bahamut: SS: (whtas going on?)
fatalchocolate12: allright, you are all jarred to a halt
J0nnyG420: Timmet:"... I will hurt them...."
J0nnyG420: *shakes head... gathers self*
WarDragon 1984: "What in the name of Asmodeus just happened to us?!"
Kai Bahamut: SS: (are we dead?)
stabs felcher: (... we didn't even get their "fun" equipment ;_;-)
fatalchocolate12: the sudden stop jolts your heads, you feel your senses are pretty impaired from the whiplash
J0nnyG420: J0nnyG420: *shakes head... gathers self*
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Freaky bastards...."
stabs felcher: If I can find Kai I'll cast Vigor on him,
Kai Bahamut: SS: (*curses with words no one wants to hear spoken aloud*)
J0nnyG420: Timmet: "There will be hell to pay when I get a hold of them next...."
WarDragon 1984: "Speak for yourself. I think I'll be avoiding them, thank you."
J0nnyG420 has left the room.
J0nnyG420 has entered the room.
Kai Bahamut: SS: (But where are we?)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza chants a little spell to herself.(CLW to self)
fatalchocolate12: "You are all now safe," booms a large voice with no perceptible host. "But you must go back and balance out everything in the end."
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 8-sided die: 7
SpusWidgetwatch: (+9)
WarDragon 1984: "...Care to elaborate on that?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Bugger off! It's the gods again!"
J0nnyG420: "Care to let me know where those bastards are?"
Kai Bahamut: SS: (Are you the one who blew up that fortess Zarius went to?)
stabs felcher: (Kai you should be conscious, I Vigor'd you -_^)
WarDragon 1984: (If he wasn't killed outright.)
Kai Bahamut: (your healing a corpse)
stabs felcher: (was he dead?)
fatalchocolate12: "I am the God of Universal Equivalency. You are all subject to my designs. It would behoove you to be quiet until I am finished."
stabs felcher: (I just Vigor'd a corspe then...)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "No deal! WAAAHAHAW WAAw WAAA WAA!"
J0nnyG420: "Pfft"
fatalchocolate12: ok, muddy, you now feel like someon has you pinned under a 3-ton rock
Kai Bahamut: SS: (*listens with perky ears*)
WarDragon 1984: "Muddy. Don't. Piss off. The deity. Especially when he's helping us. Shutting up, sir."
fatalchocolate12: "YOU WILL BE QUIET."
J0nnyG420: "He hasn't shown that he's helping us"
fatalchocolate12: Timmet now has the feeling of getting shots
fatalchocolate12: lots, and lots of shots
J0nnyG420: "Ow!" (repeatedly)
J0nnyG420: "Haven't got the sac to show yourself eh?... Coward! OW!"
WarDragon 1984: I just stand there, shaking my head at my comrades.
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I haven't got all day. I have stuff to do. Like ripping those bastards heads off."
fatalchocolate12: "Now, I am forced to realize I am not perfect. My designs have gone astray. You are supposed to be a match for them. However, this is easily remedied
stabs felcher: Muddy: "I think you screwed up when you forgot to give us uber weapons. OUCH!"
Kai Bahamut: SS: (But we were doing okay. Eldan adn Timmet were turning the tide.)
WarDragon 1984: (I was?)
Kai Bahamut: (I hope you were going to.)
J0nnyG420: (I could have killed the paladin)
fatalchocolate12: You probably noticed your counterpart's weapons and armor. They were fortunate, and accomplished certain tasks before I expected. Now, your schedule is moved up
fatalchocolate12: In order to make ends meet, your method for obtaining your items will be rahter... unorthodox.
J0nnyG420: "Unorthodox works"
WarDragon 1984: I'm listening attentively, making nary a peep.
fatalchocolate12: Lord Gerren kept a secret place under his fortress, a place where his certain victims go after they die. It is there you will get your weapons. It is there that my plans for you will begin.
fatalchocolate12: Now, go. If you don't, I will be very angry because the world will be unbalanced and that brings up more problems than what we have now.
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Small problem. Thousands of Deij."
J0nnyG420: "I'll kill them too"
fatalchocolate12: "Wrong. 42 Deji guards."
J0nnyG420: "That's it? Sounds like fun"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "38 more 'n we can handle. Can't you just blow them up?"
Kai Bahamut: SS: (still a lot. When were a man down?)
WarDragon 1984: "Hmm... forty-two might be doable..."
WarDragon 1984: "Do your plans include the fallen Zarius, great one?"
fatalchocolate12: "My interference unbalances things. Asking me to kill them is like asking me to break a cursed sword by making a cursed mallet with which to break it
fatalchocolate12: Oh, yes, Zarius. Rise, Zarius. You have more work to do."
stabs felcher: "Oh, that was my second question... damn..."
J0nnyG420: "Yet raising zarius does not create unbalance?"
J0nnyG420: "Interesting...."
J0nnyG420 has left the room.
Kai Bahamut: "MARTEL!" i shake the cloud of death from my mind and almost look like im about to cry. "Where is she...?"
J0nnyG420 has entered the room.
fatalchocolate12: "Letting him die causes more of an unbalance than keeping him alive right now."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Hmm...while your at it, can I get a free kill of the dwarf?"
WarDragon 1984: "You won't be joining her just yet, Zarius. Welcome back to the land of the living."
fatalchocolate12: "Now, you all will go and look for your destiny."
J0nnyG420: "I'd rather look for some revenge, and a few pints instead"
fatalchocolate12: as soon as he finishes his sentence, you are all sent back to where you were before you were taken. However, it looks very dark outside."
J0nnyG420: "I look forward to seeing the inside of that paladin's skull..."
Kai Bahamut: "Is it before or after that battle?"
fatalchocolate12: after
Kai Bahamut: I go into the town to check on it.
J0nnyG420: I follow
fatalchocolate12: (crap, my download is stuck at 98%
fatalchocolate12: ok, you can't see well since it is so dark, but you don't hear anything moving
stabs felcher: (darkvision)
WarDragon 1984: "We shall, Timmet. Though I wonder what he could possibly have in mind for me, since I don't use weapons..."
Kai Bahamut: Does anything look like its on fire or broken.
fatalchocolate12: oh, yeah, forgot about that
fatalchocolate12: nothing on fire
fatalchocolate12: of course, there isn't a gate left to the town
Kai Bahamut: "Muddy. Does everything look okay to you?"
J0nnyG420: "Let's look for a place to get some sleep, if I can't kill someone, a night's sleep wouldn't be too bad..."
fatalchocolate12: yeah, I seriously have to call it a night
J0nnyG420: (I can't see all that well, human :-()
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Right, no holy warriors, but this place is boned. Let's head back to Gerren's."
fatalchocolate12: I was supposed to be done about 30 minutes ago
J0nnyG420: "Sounds as good an idea as any, let's go)
J0nnyG420: "*
Kai Bahamut: "Tommrow we go to Gerrens."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Balance of the world eh....I always thought I was doing what I did for greed and fun...?"
fatalchocolate12: allright, good night
Kai Bahamut: night
J0nnyG420: cya
WarDragon 1984: g'night, and sorry again about dropping earlier.
fatalchocolate12: np
J0nnyG420 has left the room.