Session #3: Short Jokes for Character Depth

[Spus]

You have just entered room "chat10572506432500038820."
ShortyStack825: (As in out of game speech)
stabs felcher: (Thanks Kai. Sorry about that guys. We travelled?)
ShortyStack825: (YAY STABS IS BACK!!!)
ShortyStack825: *huggles*
stabs felcher: (apologies. I got a d/c and then had to restart before I could come back. And I couldn't even find any food while I was rebooting)
Kai Bahamut: "Ive been hearing voices then... Billy Madison... what a ridiclous name..."
ShortyStack825: (thats shittastic)
WarDragon 1984: (is it safe to look at the chat window yet?)
ShortyStack825: (no)
fatalchocolate12: yeah, there was also something involving raging masturbation
ShortyStack825: (hehe yeah)
stabs felcher: (Alright. Probably over Muddy)
Kai Bahamut: Yes. Now lets get into town before thigns get worse) "Valin put down the goddam stick."
ShortyStack825: (me actually)
fatalchocolate12: nope, valinducia
stabs felcher: (Ooh, hot stuff. But this armour -does- chafe so...)
ShortyStack825: (I didnt actually do it, it was just a comment)
Kai Bahamut: (Half Dwarf/Elf. Dear god no.)
ShortyStack825: (Parenthesis not asteriks)
stabs felcher: Alright, are we at the village?
SpusWidgetwatch: (Is it on fire, and if not, can I fix that?)
SpusWidgetwatch: (....)
fatalchocolate12: it is not yet on fire
Kai Bahamut: ( no fire until we've plunderd. Its loot and hten burn.)
stabs felcher: (Fire forthcoming then)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Hurry up and plunder so I can burn it.)
ShortyStack825: (Does anyone know where I can find the rules for Bully other than BovD?)
WarDragon 1984: "Zarius, you seem to be the diplomatic sort. Why don't you go and take a look?"
Kai Bahamut: "Yes i will. Wait outside of town..." I head into town and i gather information.
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 5
stabs felcher: Muddy: "wait outside of town? Surely we could only be an asset!"
stabs felcher: (kidding of course -_^)
Kai Bahamut: total of 12
SpusWidgetwatch: (I actually have maxed out Diplomacy, just doesn't fit my char to excessively use it heh)
Kai Bahamut: (i have max plus 3 cha. suck on that.)
Kai Bahamut: so waht do i find out?
ShortyStack825: (I think Diplomacy and Intimidate need to be merged into one skill)
ShortyStack825: (Seeing as you get the same bonus)

[Spus]

SpusWidgetwatch: (+8 mod for me)
fatalchocolate12: then why not have jump and swim as the same skill?
ShortyStack825: (Well Diplomacy and Intimidate actually do the same thing)
WarDragon 1984: (brb)
fatalchocolate12: no, diplomacy is for not scaring people to like you
ShortyStack825: (It should just be called Persuade)
ShortyStack825: (And Balance and Tumble ahould be Acrobatics)
fatalchocolate12: and then there should be 'Persuade' with the quotes
ShortyStack825: (Hide and MS should be Stealth)
stabs felcher: (... back to the Gather Infoing...)
Kai Bahamut: I want to know waht i found out with 12.
ShortyStack825: (Persuasion can be with words(Diplomacy) or actions (Intimidate))
fatalchocolate12: ok, you don't hear anything much with a 12
fatalchocolate12: people say they haven't seen Gerren's forces for about a week or so, but other than that, nothing
ShortyStack825: *Spot check for elves!*
WarDragon 1984: (back)
fatalchocolate12: from how far away
Kai Bahamut: I go back to the group and tell them i didnt find out much.
OnlineHost: ShortyStack825 rolled 1 20-sided die: 8
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Well... I guess we could stop over here instead of sleepin' in the terrain another night..."
ShortyStack825: (Looking around the side of a building so they don't see me)
Kai Bahamut: "I could try again in an hour or so. Thats usally long enough for some diffrent folk to mill about."
ShortyStack825: Thats a 14
SpusWidgetwatch: (Your only an elf when it benefits you Bah.)
fatalchocolate12: (Humbug.)
ShortyStack825: (i didnt get Low-light vision, or find hidden doors
Kai Bahamut: I go over to Valin. "I see an elf!"
ShortyStack825: I sacrificed those
ShortyStack825: "WHERE?!?!?!"
fatalchocolate12: who uses find hidden doors anyways?
Kai Bahamut: "Okay, hes right on top you. Run fast around the buildng!"
WarDragon 1984: *sighs*
fatalchocolate12: you think some people might have elfish traits, but it's a crowd of about 50 people in the square, so nothing really sticks out at you
ShortyStack825: "RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" *Swings sword above head*
Kai Bahamut: "He'll catch you at that rate move it!"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Erm...lad... might not be wise to whip this'n into a frenzy. might be more'n we can handle."
Kai Bahamut: "It so fun..."
Kai Bahamut: *its

[Spus]

ShortyStack825: "Swings more wildly*
Kai Bahamut: "Okay, you whacked him and he ran off."
ShortyStack825: *pant, pant, pant...*
Kai Bahamut: "Good job Valin."
fatalchocolate12: wouldn't it be more like, *twitch, twitch, twitch... *
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Down, woman. There's no elf around."
Kai Bahamut: "Because she whacked it and it ran off like a pansy."
fatalchocolate12: anyone remember how long it'll be till j0nny get's back from vacation
ShortyStack825: "Good."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Come on Eldan. You and me seem like the only ones not interested in playin' silly buggers. Shall we find a cheap inn?"
ShortyStack825: (I think like 2 weeks)
Kai Bahamut: "I agree with that Muddy. Lets look for a place to stay."
ShortyStack825: *Walks into town after sheathing sword*
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Preferably someplace that doesn't spontaneously burst into flames like that fort..."
fatalchocolate12: but, spontaneous combustion is fun!
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Now don't begrudge a place its flammibility. Often comes in handy..."
Kai Bahamut: "That was because are resdient Orc beat the guy to death."
Kai Bahamut: *our
Kai Bahamut: Do find our inn?
ShortyStack825: (Come on, is cutting someone's leg off and beating them with it not the coolest way to kill someone?)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I like flamability. Just not when I'm sleeping."
fatalchocolate12: I wouldn't mind some flammability. It gets fuckin cold here!
stabs felcher: (any obvious buildings with "Inn" written on them in big letters?)
Kai Bahamut: ( you mean in DMspace?)
fatalchocolate12: yeah, and above inn is "Walsh and Merrier"
Kai Bahamut: "That one seems okay."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Aye, They'll be less merry when we're done with em though."
WarDragon 1984: "If we must."
ShortyStack825: "Heh, Especially if either of them is an elf."
stabs felcher: *Muddy enters*
fatalchocolate12: do walsh and merrier sound like elven names?
stabs felcher: (sound like halfings)
ShortyStack825: You never know.
Kai Bahamut: I enter the inn
ShortyStack825: I go in too
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza enters the inn.
fatalchocolate12: ok, you go in the Inn.
Kai Bahamut: I go up to counter. "excuse me, how much is it for five rooms?"
fatalchocolate12: "2 gp a night, sir" says the clerk
stabs felcher: Muddy: "We can't afford five rooms. We'll have to share. Me, Val and Riza in one bed, Eldan and Zar in the other..."

[Spus]

ShortyStack825: Do I see any elves? (Now referred to as my default question whenever we enter a new area)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Is this a tavern too, or just a bar?)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"And only me and Val will walk out tommorrow morning."
fatalchocolate12: they don't even have a bar, just rooms
Kai Bahamut: "We can pay. What the heck did you spen your money on when i wasnt looking. Why do you.... oh... And i didnt think dwarves like human women."
ShortyStack825: "I can afford my own room. Stop trying to seduce me, tiny man. I have someone wating for me back at the village."
WarDragon 1984: (don't most inns of this type have a common area?)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Sounds good Riza. If you're gonna go, then what a way to go out!"
Kai Bahamut: One of my eyebrows go up. "Oh do you?"
WarDragon 1984: *blinks in suprise at Riza*
stabs felcher: Muddy: "No no! Reproduction is evil! The Scythe... is good..."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:".....You did get the implication I would kill you, didn't you?"
ShortyStack825: "Yes, we have arranged marraiges. If I can complete my Mission, I get to marry the Cheiftain's son, a great honor among our tribe."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Of course lass. Do me the favour some other time though." *I pay my 2gp*
Kai Bahamut: "You dont like raising the dead and you dont like birth? Do you want all to fall to the void?"
fatalchocolate12: ok, so the man hollars for a Balen, and you see a gnome come out to lead you to your rooms.
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Well, that's always been the dream"
Kai Bahamut: "Hmm. I sure hope that hes fairly strong and smart." i pay my money and head to my room.
ShortyStack825: *pays, goes to room*
WarDragon 1984: "I'll take my own room, as well." *pays*
ShortyStack825: *Looks in open rooms for elves*
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Damn, I was hoping there would be a tavern."
Kai Bahamut: "You can do that tommrow while i try to get some more information."
stabs felcher: (nearing dusk? I need to pray)
Kai Bahamut: (its past i think. hurry up and do so.)
fatalchocolate12: ok, so the gnome leads you to a first room, and he opens the door on a couple fornicating. They gasp, and he quickly closes the door, looking utterly ashamed. He then leads you all to your rooms. You notice he has very large bags
fatalchocolate12: under his eyes.
Kai Bahamut: I go up to him. "Do you have a problem sir? you look rather tired."
stabs felcher: *Muddy goes to his room, sits on his bed, and touches his mind to the void*
ShortyStack825: *meditates*
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I had more devilish intents then simply a few mugs of ale..."
Kai Bahamut: "What you do in your own time is none of my concern."
ShortyStack825: (was planning to buy some elves ale and 'spike' it with elf blood)
Kai Bahamut: "Unless it brings downt he law upon us. Then im concerned."
SpusWidgetwatch: *flips 2 gold at clerk and follows upstairs*
fatalchocolate12: "It's, oh, nothing..." he doesn't look like he is all there, like a little bit of him is off somewhere else thinking
Kai Bahamut: "There is someting wrong. Your very bad at hiding it."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Bah, I know what I'm doing. I've done this for the past 9 years."
WarDragon 1984: I ignore the others, and go to rest up.
fatalchocolate12: "Oh, it's, uh, nonsense... just nonsense. I don't have anything to hide."
Kai Bahamut: "We all have something to hide... If youre willing to get a little help for whatever your problem is, if you have some gold ill see about fixing it."
ShortyStack825: (WHY THE HELL ARE YOU BEING SO NICE??)
SpusWidgetwatch: Kneels down and tries to do her sweet little girl voice. "Aw, what's wrong little gnome...what's bothing ya?"
SpusWidgetwatch: (It's eviler to be nice then be evil.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (They get betrayed.)
ShortyStack825: My parents need the computer again, bye guys =(
Kai Bahamut: (For cold hard gold and information. Easily worth acting nice.)
ShortyStack825 has left the room.
fatalchocolate12: He looks livid. "No, I'm fin- LITTLE! DAMNIT I AM VERY TALL FOR MY AGE!" he storms off
stabs felcher: (Noo shorty!)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Touchy."
fatalchocolate12: I just realized it is very easy to be racist in DnD
Kai Bahamut: "Dammit Riza. Never call these people short. thats an insult. So keep it in mind." I wink before I go off after him.
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Bah." *She follows Zar.
Kai Bahamut: "Sir, my offer still stands. My comrade is a little insensetive regarding others."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Well excuse me, you are little compared to me."
fatalchocolate12: "SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Hush out there! Some of us are trying to see beyond all existance to touch the very plane of death!"
Kai Bahamut: "Fine. The offer stands anytime you change your mind." I head to my room and sleep for the night.
fatalchocolate12: He walks off, waving his hands around his head, more to chase off his thoughts than to fend you off
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Such little problems..."
fatalchocolate12: "GOD DAMNIT I HEARD THAT!" He slams a door that's not his.
Kai Bahamut: brb
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"So much attitude in a little package." *she goes to her room.*
fatalchocolate12: "AAAAUGH!"
fatalchocolate12: (gnomes get a +20 to listen check for short jokes)
SpusWidgetwatch: *in her room, under her breath* Riza:"Midget." (:-P)
fatalchocolate12: you hear him slam a rock against a wall
stabs felcher: (do we survive the sleep?)
fatalchocolate12: yeah
fatalchocolate12: gnomes get a -800 to killing people for making fun of them
stabs felcher: (few. So can we skip to morning?)
fatalchocolate12: no. We have to wait in real time for how long you sleep (i.e. yes, we go to morning)
stabs felcher: Muddy: *RAAAORAOAROAWAOA* (yawns). "So, where's that good lookin' one? Isn't he going to ask around the town some more?"
Kai Bahamut: (im half back so i may be a while responding. Anyway in the morning first thing i do is indeed ask around town.)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Burn....kill...murder...Nerull...snore..burn...kill....murder..zzz"
Kai Bahamut: "Im flattred Muddy. Keep on eye on lady death and our 'Olf'."
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 13
Kai Bahamut: +7 to that
WarDragon 1984: I wake up, and meet the others downstairs.
WarDragon 1984: "Want any backup, Zarius?"
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza gets up. Riza:"Too short of a night. Like that gnome."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "So, lass, a scythe eh? How'd you come to use such a weapon?"
Kai Bahamut: "Hmm? Okay Eldan. Ask around too."
Kai Bahamut: (and while im here...what did i find out for a 20 on my gather info?)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Feel strangely obliged. Works well enough, found it soon after I began my mission, so it must be of some importance."
WarDragon 1984: (Can you use Aid Another for a skill you're untrained in? If so, I'll do so on Kai's GAther Info)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Mmm... well this here is a weapon that I crafted meself, after some carvings I saw of a skeleton figure in black robes weilding a scythe. I couldn't talk the human tongue, but he seemed like a good sort."
WarDragon 1984: (...I don't normally say this, but: XD)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Anyway, how long we planning to stick around this town?"
Kai Bahamut: (Fatal? Are you there?)
fatalchocolate12: sorry, playign with my puppies
WarDragon 1984: (...you're just gonna let that pass? COME ON, Spus!)
stabs felcher: (that's what I'd do if I had em)
stabs felcher: (Any info Gathered???)
SpusWidgetwatch: (What pass? He thinks Death is a decent guy?)
WarDragon 1984: (He got his inspiration from a picture of your deity, whom he's been mocking.)
Kai Bahamut: ( got 20 on my gather info)
fatalchocolate12: you hear that a few of the towns members have been acting suspiciously lateley, and you hear directly from one of them that he was threatened to hand over all his gold or die
stabs felcher: (the puppies. And yes -_^, but he still doesn't know it)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "That wasn't one of us was it?"
fatalchocolate12: so, that's pretty much all you found out
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"You do know Nerull is a skeletal figure in dark robes as well, don't you...?"
fatalchocolate12: oh, and someone is pregnant
fatalchocolate12: but you don't know her
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Yeah bu... no I... well I don't know a lot about the human pantheon..."
Kai Bahamut: I come back in. "What do you need to know about religon, muddy?"
SpusWidgetwatch: (Well actually he isn't according to Dieties and Demi-gods, he's just corpsish looking, but still not undead)
WarDragon 1984: (he's still the Reaper.)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "I know enough to know I don't need any godfolk..." (wasn't sure about Nerull's desc, but I figured he was meant to be death)
Kai Bahamut: "Fine. Anyway i just heard a chance for money. I have a hunch..." I go out and look for the gnome.
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:*in a sarcastic, treat Muddy as a kid tone*"Well then, you just keep up the good work."

[Spus]

stabs felcher: Muddy: "Ah think she likes me..."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Yous thinks wrong."
WarDragon 1984: "You, my smelly Dwarven friend, have a lot to learn."
Kai Bahamut: Sally sue: Makes motions somehow indicating that Muddy is crazy*
SpusWidgetwatch: (Yeah, he's ugly as sin, but not even Zombie)
Kai Bahamut: (and do i find the gnome?)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Smelly? I bring the comfort of the grave wherever I go!"
fatalchocolate12: (you could say that you think he's super short)
Kai Bahamut: "I think that gnome has more than a little (saying that a lot louder) problem."
fatalchocolate12: "GIVE IT A BREAK!" you hear in a muted tone from the inn, which is about 30 feet away from you
Kai Bahamut: "Maybe he'll meet with me for a small order of shrimp. I just love small talk. Hell, i will even buy him short fries."
WarDragon 1984: "And, you have an idea about how to... help him?"
Kai Bahamut: "There you are. Tell me, is someone threatning you?"
fatalchocolate12: "BURN IN HELL!"
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I think you owe him a small apology."
Kai Bahamut: "Not yet, my good gnome. Not yet. But is someone thinking that they can bully you around because of your size?"
WarDragon 1984: "Has quite a short fuse, doesn't he?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Listen, gnome, I can understand yer predicament. I mean you're about my size?"
fatalchocolate12: "FUCK YOU ALL!"
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Short on manners as well."
fatalchocolate12: (I so love to play height-conscious gnomes XD)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "That was a little anachronistic... Gnomes are leaps and bounds ahead of us, y'know"
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"We only jest a little, we want to help you out with your small problem for a small fee, my little friend."
Kai Bahamut has left the room.
fatalchocolate12: "GO AND LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU RACIST BASTARD!
Kai Bahamut has entered the room.
WarDragon 1984: Kai Bahamut has left the room.fatalchocolate12: "GO AND LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU RACIST BASTARD!Kai Bahamut has entered the room.
Kai Bahamut: I got fucked up by the gnome
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Well, I've had enough of this lad. Stuff him in me sack. We'll take him outta town and cut his legs off. That'll teach him to appreciate what height he had."
Kai Bahamut: "Fine. Ill make you talk." *uses charm person on Gnome*
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Think we've pushed him over the edge a little, probably broken any chance of getting him to talk."
Kai Bahamut: "Charm fixes that."
Kai Bahamut: Anyway you know the drill fatal
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 20-sided die: 15
fatalchocolate12: pass
Kai Bahamut: dammit
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Should we use Muddy's idea?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Now comes the time for the sack.... *raises voice* Oh Doorman, there's a problem in my room!"
Kai Bahamut: I cast it again. Im on five spells a day*
Kai Bahamut: "Quiet. There are more subtle ways. Besides you can do it later in a more secluded area."
stabs felcher: Muddy: *mumbles* "no one appreciate's the dwarf. Fine fine, cast yer magicks"
fatalchocolate12: ok, he quiets down and stops cursing you. but he still only vaguely likes you
Kai Bahamut: I diplomacy him
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 16
fatalchocolate12: is there a counter roll to that?
Kai Bahamut: Oo let me check
stabs felcher: (no, just a DC to increase friendliness. 15 I think)
Kai Bahamut: 16+7 is 23
Kai Bahamut: I win
fatalchocolate12: yeah, you win
fatalchocolate12: he's your pal/buddy/friend/amigo/homedog
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Now can we use the sack idea?"
Kai Bahamut: "Hey big man, you look like you've had a bad day. Whats wrong?"
Kai Bahamut: Sally Sue: motions 'maybe'
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza silences her short jokes for now, but you can see that's she's thinking unnice things.
fatalchocolate12: "I don't know. Everything's just so messed up now. I mean, I got robbed a few days ago for everything I had, and now, I barely can live at the inn. And that's only because I partially own the place!"
Kai Bahamut: "Did you see who did it?
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Look on the brightside, it's not like anyone cut yer legs off."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:*Snicker*
Kai Bahamut: "This is true. Tell me everything you know and ill hunt this bastard down. And my dwarf friend will cut his bloody legs off!"
WarDragon 1984: *elbows Muddy with mighty 7 Str* "Let him work."
fatalchocolate12: "Hey, thanks man. You guys are really good friends, you know?" He gets all teary eyed
Kai Bahamut: "Yeah. Just tell us what you know and fast. The quicker you do so, the faster we can hunt him down before he skips town."
fatalchocolate12: "Well, I didn't see much. He was covered in black, and he got me from behind. I was so scared that I just gave him my money. Please help me! I need my money to feed my children."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Our elvish friend who's sleeping is an excellent chef. He has a new recipe with Oregano he wants to try."
WarDragon 1984: (SHE)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Yeah, She )
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"She'd be honored to feed your kids some of it..."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"If she can find the ingrediants anyway..."
Kai Bahamut: "We'll do anything we can. Now lets move guys." Once were outside and out of ear shot. "The good news is we can pick some guy whose gotten lots of money or dressed in black who
Kai Bahamut: has lots of gold and beat them down. Best of all we can claim we did because were good."
Kai Bahamut: "You can kill lots of folk in the name of good. Lots more than youd think."
WarDragon 1984: "How ironic."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Aye, but where did this all happen? We should use the gnome as bait. Load him up with gold and ambush the guy who comes to rob him."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"We're totally good. We'd never burn down villiages, do murders for dark gods, or kick puppies or nothing."
Kai Bahamut: "We'd risk losing our gold, one way or the other. Lets go somewere that sells expensieve things bitch probably wants to spend his stuf as soon as he can."
WarDragon 1984: "Or one of us. I'm well aware I don't look very threatening, without my armor."
WarDragon 1984: "Or with it, for that matter, unless I'm firing bolts of power."
Kai Bahamut: "Actually thats a good plan. You need to look rich though."
fatalchocolate12: (Actually, for me, kicking puppies gets you a -5 for DM relations)
Kai Bahamut: "That or just have a big jangling coin pouch."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Hmm... well, let's load ol' Eldan up with copper coins so he makes a nice jingle soun"
stabs felcher: ^aye that
Kai Bahamut: "I second that. Ill follow closely, the other will mill about of sight."
WarDragon 1984: "Excellent."
WarDragon 1984: "And when the fool underestimates me, we'll just have to prove him wrong."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Shall we then?" *muddy slips on his chainmail and filthy filthy cloak*
Kai Bahamut: "Then we strike. Lets do it then. Ill askt he gnome where he got jumped." I head back to the hotel and find the gnome again. "Hey big man! Where'd you get jumped. Were going to try and hunt
fatalchocolate12: someone tell him IC to take a fuckin bath
Kai Bahamut: him down around that place."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"When's the last time you ran yourself to a river?"
fatalchocolate12: "Oh, I don't know really, but it was about 2 doors to the left of the armorsmiths."
Kai Bahamut: "Thank you. Were going to bait him and then take care of him."
Kai Bahamut: "Oh and what time of day was it?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "A river? A dwarf never likes to get wet! We're too heavy, and we don't float!"
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"It's very uhh...therapuetic."
WarDragon 1984: "And you'll be better able to approach people, so as to end their lives."
fatalchocolate12: "I was just walking back to the Inn after getting some Ale for my partner and I, since we usually need a drink or two after 9 or so.
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Well, I guess we oughtta wait until then. I'll spend that time not bathing."
Kai Bahamut: "Alrighty then." I return to the group and tell them what i found out."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Hmm....what if there was someone in the river, just standing there, and asking for someone to help them drown?"
Kai Bahamut: "...So youll start off in the tavern and have a drink or two. Not too much. Then you follow the same route. Ill be in the tavern reading, then ill follow you if someone gets up and follows you out also. if not
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Yup, we dinnae even need a disguise fer young Eldan here. He can play a pansey quite well. Ahaha!" *he claps a hand on the Warlock's pack.*
Kai Bahamut: ill follow you in a minute."
stabs felcher: ("Oh, and yeah, then I'd drown em. And maybe go unner too..")
Kai Bahamut: "A disguise shouldnt be needed. Hes out of town. There good prey for theifs."
Kai Bahamut: "And since hes bait thats what were going for."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "I'll find some nice shadows somewhere. There's an advantage o' being filthy, ye blend right in."
WarDragon 1984: "My cloak is more than enough to cover my armor, and I'll make an effort to move slowly through the area."
Kai Bahamut: "Right. Lets do this..." (can we skip ahead to where we put the plan into action?)
fatalchocolate12: yeah
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I'll make myself useful somehow."
WarDragon 1984: Ok. I'm walking down the street, keeping my leather armor covered up, acting like I'm drunk.
WarDragon 1984: (oh, by the way; we may want to take this guy alive, just in case.)
stabs felcher: *looks shifty in some shadows, like in a noir movie*
Kai Bahamut: (fine. thre goes my grand bloody death for him.) Im walking down teh street my nose in a book but keeping my eyes out over the top of it.
Kai Bahamut: Also a good distacne away from Eldan.
fatalchocolate12: Ok, a guy clothed in black rounds a corner and is walking between Kai and Wardragon
Kai Bahamut: I keep a closer eye on the man in black.
stabs felcher: *readies spell hand*
WarDragon 1984: (and I've let my Entropic Shield lapse, so that won't give it away)
fatalchocolate12: He is walking at normal pace, which is obviously faster than a drunk's speed, so he catches up to you in a few seconds
Kai Bahamut: (and now the fun begins...)
stabs felcher: (he's a lich!)
fatalchocolate12: He reaches out to wardragon
stabs felcher: (init?)
Kai Bahamut: (Wait for it...)
WarDragon 1984: I stop and stare at him.
fatalchocolate12: if you guys attacked now, it would be a surprise round
Kai Bahamut: (But we must make sure.)
Kai Bahamut: (Besides it will be a hell of a suprise either way)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Where am I again?)
Kai Bahamut: (in the shadows with Muddy
stabs felcher: (you can be posing as a hooker. I'll be the pimp)
WarDragon 1984: (since when are we worried about attacking the wrong guy?)
Kai Bahamut: (True. Jump' em)
fatalchocolate12: he asks if you have any spare change because he needs to buy paper to write to his wife. You see a dagger hooked on his belt
WarDragon 1984: "Oh, really? I thought maybe you was gonna *hic* rob me!"
SpusWidgetwatch: (I wouldn't proposition a hooker who's carrying a rusty scythe.)
WarDragon 1984: "You know, *drops drunk act* like the gnome."
Kai Bahamut: I come up slowly behind him, not acting yet but one hand wandering around where my dagger is.

[Spus]

fatalchocolate12: "Rob you! Haha, I haven't ever done anything illegal in my life.
OnlineHost: WarDragon 1984 rolled 1 20-sided die: 9
WarDragon 1984: 9 Sense Motive?
Kai Bahamut: (I do my own sense motive)
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 10
Kai Bahamut: damn. got the same as him
fatalchocolate12: obviously, I will be rolling the bluff secretly
WarDragon 1984: (why isn't anybody with a wisdom score rolling it?)
SpusWidgetwatch: (I have -1 wis mod heh)
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 20-sided die: 10
stabs felcher: (that's an 18)
Kai Bahamut: (so do i. Arent you a cleric spus?)
fatalchocolate12: he sounds like he's telling the truth
Kai Bahamut: what about the dwarf?
SpusWidgetwatch: (FS?WM, Wis is my dump stat)
stabs felcher: (I'm the dwarf. I got 18.)
WarDragon 1984: (well, damn)
stabs felcher: (18 check, not 18 wis ;_;-)
Kai Bahamut: I take a look at his dagger. "Than whats that for?"
WarDragon 1984: (does Felcher think he's lying?)
SpusWidgetwatch: (brb)
fatalchocolate12: sorry, puppies
Kai Bahamut: Right. Muddy got 18 on sense motive
fatalchocolate12: ok, you all think he's telling the truth
WarDragon 1984: (damn)
stabs felcher: (that's no reason not to rob him) Muddy's hands form a triangle and he says in a commanding voice: "Lie Down." (Command, Will DC 15)
fatalchocolate12: (does it matter if he actually is telling the truth?
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 20-sided die: 20
Kai Bahamut: (were evil. If hes got cash...)
Kai Bahamut: wow
fatalchocolate12: ... wow
SpusWidgetwatch: (Probably not.)
stabs felcher: (okay, he knows some guy in the shadows tried to mess with him)
fatalchocolate12: He turns around. "Who's there?"
Kai Bahamut: I use my lay on hands on him.
fatalchocolate12: does that do damage?
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Just training my girl, here" *he points to Riza* "Lie down!"
WarDragon 1984: (for a PoT, yes.)
Kai Bahamut: Mine does. I can do 6 damage a day
WarDragon 1984: (if you make a touch attack.)
Kai Bahamut: And i do all of it on him.)
fatalchocolate12: well, ff
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 4
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Go fark yourself."(annoyed)
fatalchocolate12: so, a ff touch attack would means he gets no bonuses?
stabs felcher: (yup, 10 flat. unless he has deflections?)
WarDragon 1984: (unless he has Deflection, Sacred, or Profane, yes)
Kai Bahamut: It hink i get BAB and flanking (i am trying to touch him from behind)
SpusWidgetwatch: (And he's Flat Footed )
Kai Bahamut: Yep
fatalchocolate12: yeah, flanking because you 2 are flanking him
fatalchocolate12: so what's your total?
Kai Bahamut: 6 with bab...do multiple flanks count?
fatalchocolate12: how can you multiply flank someone?
Kai Bahamut: More than one person flanking
stabs felcher: (we're still about 10 feet away)
WarDragon 1984: (you only ever get 1 flank bonus)
WarDragon 1984: (and you add your Str)
Kai Bahamut: 8 total
fatalchocolate12: haha
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Slippery bastard" *he mutters to Riza*
fatalchocolate12: you missed a flat-footed touch attack on a target without deflection bonuses
Kai Bahamut: Low rolls suck
Kai Bahamut: "Hey hold still you got a bee on you..."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza moves to the guy, and puts a hand on his shoulder(Chill touch )
fatalchocolate12: cold shoulder?
Kai Bahamut: Duh
fatalchocolate12: lol
SpusWidgetwatch: (1d6+1 str damage )
SpusWidgetwatch: (Roll it?)
fatalchocolate12: yeah, roll
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 6-sided die: 1
Kai Bahamut: not a whole damn lot
fatalchocolate12: wow, you guys are supersuck today
SpusWidgetwatch: (Doh)3 damage, DC 14
SpusWidgetwatch: or lose 1 str
fatalchocolate12: or?
SpusWidgetwatch: (I cripple him minorly.)
fatalchocolate12: so, either he gets dealth 3 damage or loses 1str?
fatalchocolate12: dealt*
SpusWidgetwatch: (Both. He gets the 3 damage regardless.)
stabs felcher: (both if he fails the save. Damage only if not)
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 20-sided die: 18
fatalchocolate12: ... wow
SpusWidgetwatch: (Bastard.)
fatalchocolate12: you guys are lucky you aren't in real combat
WarDragon 1984: "Pathetic." I back up 10 ft. and blast him.
stabs felcher: (that's it. I'm rolling initiative at him.)
fatalchocolate12: I can crit my characters to death
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 20-sided die: 12
OnlineHost: WarDragon 1984 rolled 1 20-sided die: 20
stabs felcher: yay for 11.
WarDragon 1984:
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Sorry, we have to avenge a small friend. If it's you anyway, if not, who cares."
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 20-sided die: 12
stabs felcher: (damn 8 dex)
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 12
WarDragon 1984: crit check:
Kai Bahamut: 14
OnlineHost: WarDragon 1984 rolled 1 20-sided die: 2
SpusWidgetwatch: (16)
fatalchocolate12: You think you hear profanity after you say small
OnlineHost: WarDragon 1984 rolled 2 6-sided dice: 1 3
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 20-sided die: 17
WarDragon 1984: he takes 5 damage from my blast.
fatalchocolate12: damn
Kai Bahamut: whose next?
SpusWidgetwatch: (We just murdered a random Lv1 commoner didn't we?)
fatalchocolate12: actually, you killed him
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Alright, 1 down, 3 billion to go." *he checks off a list*
WarDragon 1984: "Perfect. Not only did you zealots blow our cover if the real theif was watching, now we have a body to hide."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"What a waste."*uses leftover charge of Chill Touch on the corpse.*
fatalchocolate12: you scrutinize his face, and he's elfish
Kai Bahamut: "...I know how to take care of a body..."
fatalchocolate12: elven, elf-like, whatever goddamn adjective you want
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Elves, eh? Well, let's see what goodees he had on him."
fatalchocolate12: to bad shorty isn't here
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Those are the ingredients for Valin's meal for that gnome's kids!"
Kai Bahamut: "Lets try that sack idea of yars muddy."
stabs felcher: (loot loot loot, stuff body in sack)
Kai Bahamut: Actually, we could have killed a levle 1 elf theif with bad con
Kai Bahamut: "Elves are rather fragile. This still could be our theif. Regardless...."
fatalchocolate12: 8 hp is not a lvl 1 with bad con
Kai Bahamut: Okay, it couldt be a lvl. 2 theif
SpusWidgetwatch: (He could of died from me grabbing his shoulder. )
Kai Bahamut: What do we find on his corpse
fatalchocolate12: ok, it is really late here, I have a cold, and I feel like taking an 8 hour plus nap
stabs felcher: ... yes... but what's on ze corpse?
fatalchocolate12: well not really late, but late enough
Kai Bahamut: Tell us so we can end this session if youre so inclined. That way the next one can begin with 'hide the body' or 'feed Valin'
fatalchocolate12: you find enough to warrant soup for about 5 days for the lot of you
WarDragon 1984: ok, then.
stabs felcher: .
fatalchocolate12: and aside from the daggar, his body parts, and his clothes, there's nothing else
Kai Bahamut: "So hes a pauper. Dammit."
stabs felcher: No coin purse?
WarDragon 1984: "What a waste of effort." *takes Dagger*
fatalchocolate12: no
WarDragon 1984: (at least I can make AoOs now...)
Kai Bahamut: "Well... like i said. Well be cooking elf tommrow. And someone will be eating it."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Maybe I can find a cat to cure..."
fatalchocolate12: ... wtf man, you are EVIL
WarDragon 1984: "Any cats around here are probably someone's pet."
WarDragon 1984: (and that is getting old, man. Eating cats is twice as evil as killing random elves.)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Well, I don't want to eat a FERAL cat now, do I? I might catch a disease!"
stabs felcher: (cats would have probably been eaten in those days, but ok)
Kai Bahamut: "Youll eat some good clean elf. Or valin will. Anyway will find out what elf does taste like soon."
fatalchocolate12: ... well, thats a very good ingame aspiration
stabs felcher: (btw: cats>every animal except axelotel)
WarDragon 1984: (damn straight)
fatalchocolate12: (I'm not even gonna ask what an axelotel is)
SpusWidgetwatch: (If you get sqeamish, you do not do an evil campaign. Doing PG Evil is hard.)
Kai Bahamut: (Does the book of Cooking wtih Evil givea profane bonus to cooking? If it does its about to get used.)
stabs felcher: (oooh they're awesome. They're like a lizard fish that live underwater but they can breathe air too. And they have blindsense)
fatalchocolate12: goodnight, my crew of evil elfeating beings
Kai Bahamut: Were not eating elf yet...
WarDragon 1984: g'night
Kai Bahamut: night
Kai Bahamut has left the room.
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza doesn't eat elf, she's just a sarcastic bitch
SpusWidgetwatch: seeya
fatalchocolate12 has left the room.
stabs felcher: soooo.... that was interesting.
Kai Bahamut has entered the room.
Kai Bahamut: k
Kai Bahamut: Now what?
stabs felcher: ^I like these characters we have...
Kai Bahamut: Do we use my profane cooking bonus?
stabs felcher: How awesome is it?
stabs felcher: This bonus?
Kai Bahamut: Dont know. Im gong to see if i get the right to have the first magic item. Though a profane bonus to cooking isnt that helpful...
WarDragon 1984: heh.
Kai Bahamut: Im sorry shorty missed this
WarDragon 1984: It actually gave you a profane bonus to a skill?
SpusWidgetwatch: It's inane enough, should be allowed
stabs felcher: Yeah I'll really fight you on that one. -I- wanted to be the cooking guy ;P
SpusWidgetwatch: How in the world do you exploit it?
Kai Bahamut: I dont know
stabs felcher: Hmmm... making a profane Heroes Feast to feed to our enemies?
Kai Bahamut: Im going to see if i can convince fatal to let it do that for me.
stabs felcher: think we earned any exp today?
WarDragon 1984: I doubt it.
Kai Bahamut: For a commner? no. For roleplay? Maybe
SpusWidgetwatch: Wait, if he's a Lv1 Elf Commoner, how can he have 8 HP?
stabs felcher: well it was pretty hard to kill that commoner... plus shorty killed a lvl 10 wizard!
Kai Bahamut: Maybe hes lvl 2, 3?
Kai Bahamut: No exp for that.
Kai Bahamut: Definitely
stabs felcher: damn. Epic power evades me.
SpusWidgetwatch: Got a chain shirt at least, damn 100gp price tag
Kai Bahamut: Got that for free yeah
stabs felcher: damn wrong size breastplates
SpusWidgetwatch: yes, sucks it's unbuyable at Lv1
stabs felcher: Is it? I bought it >_> (oops)
WarDragon 1984: Dude... you can wear armor made for humans with no problem.
SpusWidgetwatch: 100gp and I only got 90gp starting cash
stabs felcher: Yeah I thought so, DM said nothing sized for dwarfs.
stabs felcher: (my bad >_> okay, retrospectively, I stole a chain shirt too >_>)
WarDragon 1984: you're medium. That's all the armor cares about.
SpusWidgetwatch: Yeah, Elf, Human, Dwarf armor is one size fits all
SpusWidgetwatch: except Full Plate
SpusWidgetwatch: only exception
stabs felcher: Hmm... well, I'm heading back to the castle and hoping the armory didn't burn down.
Kai Bahamut: We could visit the other fort
WarDragon 1984: unless it's magic full plate. Then it's one size REALLY fits all.
stabs felcher: Really? It resizes?
Kai Bahamut: And see whats their
Kai Bahamut: *there
SpusWidgetwatch: Never made sense to me- if you find full plate for a giant, it resizes for a halfling?
stabs felcher: Does it? I think that's just accessories. Rings and such. I think armour is fixed size
Kai Bahamut: we cant afford magic stuff and probably wotn find it
Kai Bahamut: dont sweat it now
stabs felcher: won't find it! damn my plans to get rich and powerful....
Kai Bahamut: You can mine things if you want weatlh
Kai Bahamut: And you have some quarter century to do you thing.
Kai Bahamut: But my job is simpler: Destroy the Deij and/or bring back Martel
SpusWidgetwatch: As a DM, it's kinda hard balancing what to give the players really- especially since all thier enemies are humanoid
stabs felcher: I go quite a bit over the wealth/level system, when I DM
Kai Bahamut: Who says that? We could fight good dragons, rival orcs, random attck everyone monsters...
stabs felcher: but then I get excited easily by magickal items
WarDragon 1984: I'm with you on the Deji, at least. I think the Master would like to be avenged before he was brought back...
Kai Bahamut: If i get Martel back, my war will be pretty much over
stabs felcher: do we still have the corpse of our master?
WarDragon 1984: I have a lock of his hair.
WarDragon 1984: That's all Resurrection/Reincarnate needs, and more than True Ress. needs.
stabs felcher: ah. Where's his body?
WarDragon 1984: We were forced to abandon it in his castle.
Kai Bahamut: For Martel i may need true res unless those bastards let me view the body and take something.
WarDragon 1984: Because SOMEONE wouldn't help me carry it, and I have 7 Str.
stabs felcher: I wasn't there! (I'd probably have been on the Inevitable's side)
SpusWidgetwatch: It'd be out of char for Riza to be fiercely loyal.
SpusWidgetwatch: and I only have a flat 10 str.
Kai Bahamut: ditto
stabs felcher: We can only hope they didn't trap his soul.
Kai Bahamut: He was dead and gone when the Marut got em
WarDragon 1984: I think they have to be still alive for that...
stabs felcher: ah. Oh well. Hope lives yet...
Kai Bahamut: Hope to find out what elf tastes like
Kai Bahamut: Muddy and i will do the cooking i guess...
stabs felcher: ... why would you trust him to cook? Something might fall off him and into the broth...
WarDragon 1984: Why not Valin?
Kai Bahamut: Sure.
Kai Bahamut: Does cooking entail wisdom or int?
stabs felcher: Craft is Int, but profession is Wis
stabs felcher: depends how dedicated you are to the craft.
Kai Bahamut: I need a skill to make us money
Kai Bahamut: I hope it coutns as craft so i can us my int
Kai Bahamut: Otherwise ill let you cook like you wanted
Kai Bahamut: okay it says craft usally involves making something.
Kai Bahamut: I make food so i win!
stabs felcher: sweet.
Kai Bahamut: I guess im cooking on our adventures
stabs felcher: I make corpses. Can I take Craft: Dead and use it in place of attack/damage rolls?
Kai Bahamut: No its a profession
stabs felcher: Ah, even better, I can use Wis
Kai Bahamut: Haahha.
stabs felcher: if it was a profession I would get paid. Where's this damn elf live? We can steal his house
Kai Bahamut: If we had the deed to his house.
SpusWidgetwatch: What if he has a wife and kids?
WarDragon 1984: we know he's married; he was asking for paper to write to his wife.
stabs felcher: Hmmm... Prophit!
stabs felcher: ^profit i mean
Kai Bahamut: Killing a family and then moving in is rather blantatn
stabs felcher: Okay, I'll console the wife... then MARRY her
Kai Bahamut: What did i say about half dwarf elf?
stabs felcher: right right sorry
SpusWidgetwatch: Yes, don't kill them, sell them in slavery appropriate for them.
Kai Bahamut: Which wast eh plan witht he first elf we had
stabs felcher: pfft... kids have wimpy arms. they can't carry much candy at all
Kai Bahamut: We can raise him and warp his mind to serve evil
Kai Bahamut: I know! You can raise him like a dwarf!
stabs felcher: Yay! Erm... Muddy wouldn't know how...
stabs felcher: he was outcast 110 years ago.
Kai Bahamut: Fine ill raise teh kid
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza would probably kill them when they got on her nerves too much- bad step mother
Kai Bahamut: Oo
Kai Bahamut: I wouldnt want her as a step mother for my soon-to be new elf child
stabs felcher: Alright, at the very least we got a few good sacrifices
Kai Bahamut: yeah
stabs felcher: ah well I better be out of here. See you next week
Kai Bahamut: *wants to raise kid as wizard* If i die, im making a fighter wizard.
Kai Bahamut: Ill have feats out the wazoo....
stabs felcher: (that is where feats come from)
Kai Bahamut: Better yet... nah ill cross that bridge when i reach it
Kai Bahamut: I gotta get some sleep... see yall later
WarDragon 1984: g'night
Kai Bahamut has left the room.





























You have just entered room "chat40568696991676195726."
Kai Bahamut has entered the room.
Kai Bahamut: booyaka
stabs felcher: *pew pew!*
Kai Bahamut: huh?
stabs felcher: >_> I'm two guns Calahan! And *pew pew* means you fall down now
Kai Bahamut: *falls down*
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 2
Kai Bahamut: *and stays down*
Kai Bahamut: Well are we gonna try and start and then let the others catch up wehn they arrive?
stabs felcher: wait!Shorty stack's here!
ShortyStack825 has entered the room.
Kai Bahamut: yay
SpusWidgetwatch: afk
ShortyStack825: Sry you guys I cant play tonight
Kai Bahamut: dammit
ShortyStack825: My other comp is still down and my parents need this computer
stabs felcher: AGUBLAGU!
fatalchocolate12: A;RLGKJAOFOAIERJOI
ShortyStack825: The ther Comp should d be up pretty soon after christmas
Kai Bahamut: Come back if you can. We will save some elf for you. Oh yeah, OAJKDLJAFOKCMAPPJN
ShortyStack825: Sorry
ShortyStack825: jsdhbfgjsabfhjfvbexfbgvkjdbvkjadvbskdjvbmndsfgvbsdjkf
ShortyStack825: =Its not my fault
Kai Bahamut: We know
ShortyStack825: Well it sorta is
ShortyStack825: I downloaded too much pr0n
stabs felcher: did you pee in the other comp?
ShortyStack825: not yet
ShortyStack825: sso, welllll...bye
stabs felcher: ;_;
Kai Bahamut: Pr0n. Theres never enough room for it.
Kai Bahamut: bye.
ShortyStack825 has left the room.
Kai Bahamut: ...Well do we want to begin and hope War dragon shows up?
fatalchocolate12: yeah
Kai Bahamut: hooray!
fatalchocolate12: should I play shorty's character?
Kai Bahamut: Lets do the 'change recetn history thing'
stabs felcher: yeah that.
fatalchocolate12: how?
Kai Bahamut: "What do you mean? Shes been at the villiage training soldiers the whole time." *wink
fatalchocolate12: Oh, I thought you meant, "Valinducia who?"
stabs felcher: *also winks, but very obviously*
Kai Bahamut: Zarius: "We have a problem on our hands. But i have an idea. Muddy, do you still have that burlap sack?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Of course! I sleep in it..."
Kai Bahamut: "Good. Stuff our elf into the bag. Look for a empty kitchen, somewhere fit to prepare a meal. i will got to market and buy some needed untensils."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Aye, the dwarf'll do yer dirty work." *mashes elf's body into bad* ... "Now... a kitchen, eh?"
Kai Bahamut: "Yes. That lucky gnomes family will be eating elf tonight."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "So yer gonna give him a free meal? What do we get to eat?"
Kai Bahamut: "You can keep some of the elf soup once its ready. As long as we get rid of the body in a way it wont show up again."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Feed it to a bunch o' diamond grubs eh? Alright, now where's a kitchen?"
SpusWidgetwatch: (Back, tired as all hell heh)
Kai Bahamut: I start walking towards the market place. When i get there i pick up the raw stuff needed to make soup, including some herring
Kai Bahamut: The herring is for cutting down the mightiest tree in the forst.
Kai Bahamut: *forest
fatalchocolate12: Did you guys know there is a kitchen in the tavern? (hint, hint)
fatalchocolate12: wait, a herring is a fish, right?
Kai Bahamut: Yes.
stabs felcher: Muddy heads toward the tavern, a bleeding sack over his shoulder
Kai Bahamut: or do you not know that joke.
stabs felcher: "Come on Riza, come help Uncle Muddy with the rowdy locals."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I Just find cannibalism disgusting. Systematic slaughter is fine, but you can keep your elf meal to yourselves..."
fatalchocolate12: I know the thing about a red herring being a liar, but nothing involving trees
Kai Bahamut: Its a monty python joke
fatalchocolate12: ok, you don't need to say anymore
fatalchocolate12: ok, at the sight of blood, the townsfolk look at you funny
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Well I'm not goin' ta eat the thing. Though it's good if it means he won't be raised from the dead..."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Slaughtered a... a yak. Mind if I cook it up fer the lot of us?"
Kai Bahamut: (there shouldnt be blood. we wasted him with a chill touch)
fatalchocolate12: really?
fatalchocolate12: ok, no blood, no funny looks
SpusWidgetwatch: (Yes, I am Riza, ninjitsu master with secret nerve holds.)
stabs felcher: Muddy: *phew* "Never mind me lads, just cookin' up a yak that I killed without makin' it bleed."
Kai Bahamut: I go back to the in with the needed raw food stuff and go into the kitchen. "Quiet muddy."
fatalchocolate12: ... you get funny looks for the without makin' it bleed part
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Aye, as ye like." Muddy heads back to the tavern for a few drinks.
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I'll uhh....keep watch?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Now who's up fer a drinkin' competition?"
Kai Bahamut: "Thank you Riza." I go into the kitchen, cover the windows up best i can and get to work.
Kai Bahamut: (How long does it take for one to prepare elf anyway?)
SpusWidgetwatch: (They should list that sort of thing in the BoVD <_<)
stabs felcher: (probably a minute a pound?)
Kai Bahamut: That means im likely in their for over an hour working to make elf soup and possibly elf jerky and other treats.
fatalchocolate12: avg weight for an elf is like 80 right?
SpusWidgetwatch: (Like 100 I think- do we cut off the head? Is it like chicken?)
fatalchocolate12: 100 for an elf?
SpusWidgetwatch: (Adult Male- they're scrawny, but not anorexic.
fatalchocolate12: k
SpusWidgetwatch: (85lbs(x1d6 on the SRD)
Kai Bahamut: (thank the evil lords for a evil cookbook. Im sure thers at least a couple evil gods liking this.)
fatalchocolate12: so, muddy takes 2 hours for the elf (it takes extra time to squeeze the jelly out of its eyeballs, grind it's fingernails into seasoning, and other fun stuff)
Kai Bahamut: (im cooking)
stabs felcher: (I'm drinking)
SpusWidgetwatch: (I'm cracking a short joke.)
fatalchocolate12: (I'm laughin)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Dinner will be ready shortly."(Is that enough to piss a gnome off?)
fatalchocolate12: No, he took some beer, so he's not feelin to perceptive right now
Kai Bahamut: I come out of the kitchen with some bound jerky strips and give them to muddy. "Heres some extra food for the trip." And then i turn ot the gnome. "Im sorry.
SpusWidgetwatch: (DAMMIT)
Kai Bahamut: I wasnt able to find the bastard who took your money. But i did make some soup so that at least tonight your family wont grow hungry."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Thanks Zar, these'll do me well on the trip."
fatalchocolate12: "Oh, why thank you very much." He's still kinda buzzed
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Yes. It's an elven recipe."
fatalchocolate12: AHAHAHA
Kai Bahamut: "Theres a big thing of soup on the table for ya in the ktichens. Just be sure to return it to the hotel."
fatalchocolate12: ok, Riza gets an extra 100 exp for that
stabs felcher: Muddy: *whispers* "and the bones?"
Kai Bahamut: I get up and go upstairs and have a good laugh before coming back down.
fatalchocolate12: hey, I just realized I didn't give you guys exp for last times encounter
stabs felcher: ...
Kai Bahamut: "Ground up into powder that im carrying. Bone dust is used in maney necromantic rituals. Good thing to keep handy for selling."
Kai Bahamut: Do you mena the elf t?
fatalchocolate12: ok, that was really low action, but you all did very well on the part in the fortress, so 250 exp
Kai Bahamut: yay
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Aye, well, what more do you lot have to do in this pissant town? I'm wantin' ta head south to check the other fortress.."
Kai Bahamut: "We will go do that." I go to the gnome. "Me and my friends have to leave town now. Previous promises made. I hope you get back on your feet."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Mm... I prefer to travel by night anyhow. Should we head off now?"
fatalchocolate12: "Well, we do have a storyteller come here about every 5 weeks or so, and he said he would be in tomorrow. He is very talented, so you might wanna stay for that."
Kai Bahamut: I think it over. "whad sort of stories does he tell?"
fatalchocolate12: Well, he tells us of other lands, of strange creatures, of legends, and of other interesting stuff.
fatalchocolate12: " "
stabs felcher: Muddy: "A story teller...? Would he know any stories about dwarven culture?"
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"They all get drunk then attack something with axes?"
fatalchocolate12: "I can't tell you for sure, but he most likely does
fatalchocolate12: ."
stabs felcher: Muddy: *takes notes on what Riza says*
Kai Bahamut: "Then lets stay the night and hopefully he will be worht listnening to. If not we have to head out immediatley."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Horribly disgusting foul little fat bastards."
fatalchocolate12: (I so agree)
Kai Bahamut: "Watch your mouth. Dwarfs are pretty damn tough and can out forge just about any human."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Yes... well... " *manifests Cause Light Wounds* "Can't you forgive this one dwarf?" *muddy offers his hand.*
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Go run yourself through a river."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Maybe I'll take you fer company..."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "See who can hold their breath the longest..."
Kai Bahamut: I sigh and shake my head. "Does this tavern have a selection of books i could read?"
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I'll give you head start."
fatalchocolate12: "Yes, every room has 3 books."
Kai Bahamut: "Thank you." i head up to my room and read my books until i go to sleep.
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Aye, I heard yer good at given head..... starts... It's written on walls all over the realms"

[Spus]

Kai Bahamut: (Hahahha. thats pretty good.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (*stab to face*)
stabs felcher: (*ow*)
fatalchocolate12: (Muddy gets another 100 exp)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Perhaps they'd like to sample a dwarven recipe tommorrow night?"
SpusWidgetwatch: (brb)
Kai Bahamut: (k)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Hah! Weak-necked bastards w'd get wasted off me mere flesh! Now if'n we're not headed out tonight, I'll be sleepin."
Kai Bahamut: Upstairs hearing all this i chuckle. "Dwarves have blood in their alchohol system."
fatalchocolate12: kai gets 100 exp
Kai Bahamut: (almost halfway to level three with that.)
fatalchocolate12: how?
Kai Bahamut: 1200 exp before adding in 250xp and the 100 xp i just got. puts me a 1550 and levle three needs 3000xp
Kai Bahamut: My AC and HP are the same
Kai Bahamut: 12
Kai Bahamut: thats odd
fatalchocolate12: no, that's even
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza walks to the gnomish children eating at the table...."How do you like your meal?"
Kai Bahamut: Oo indeed
fatalchocolate12: "Yay! It tastes just like what mom makes!"
Kai Bahamut: (That brings up many... disturbing questions. But ask them if it tastes like veal. i must know!)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"What's it taste like? Veal?"
SpusWidgetwatch: (you happy?)
fatalchocolate12: "What's veel?"
Kai Bahamut: (very. Do you remember that converstaion we had in the first session about the taste of elf?)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza is slightly disturbed initially, but quickly shakes it off. "I'm doubting you've had anything like this before..."
fatalchocolate12: "Yay!"
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"It's cute little baby cow.....viciously slaughtered so people may devour it's flesh before it even reaches your age."
Kai Bahamut: (now your likely to scare the children.)
fatalchocolate12: "But... the coooww... WAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
Kai Bahamut: That awakes me and come down the stairs a sleepy. "What did you tell them, Riza?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Don't worry. We didn't kill any cows fer that there meal."
Kai Bahamut: "Its goat meat."
fatalchocolate12: They are still crying and don't hear you
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I explained to them what happens to cute little baby cows."
Kai Bahamut: "That explains it. Theres no need to crush their innocence this early in life."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Did I ever tell you about the subterranean cows we had back at the Grae Mountain Clan?"
Kai Bahamut: "No. Tell me. Any information is useful."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "They looked like huge spiders with black an' white cow spots. Bastards to milk, they were."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"But giving them psychological problems is fun..."
fatalchocolate12: The kids stop crying and laugh when they hear about cow-spiders
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Aye little ones! Ye tickle their furry bellies and they chitter!"
fatalchocolate12: They forgot about veal
stabs felcher: Muddy: "like.... this... RAWR!" *Muddy chases the kids, playfully tickling their bellies*
Kai Bahamut: "Interesting." I sigh with relief. "Im going back to bed. That bard coming into town better be worth my time."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Enjoy your meal of El.......Goats. Yes. That's it. Goats."
Kai Bahamut: "If you behave maybe i will even make you some honey bunches of goats for breakfast."
fatalchocolate12: AHAHAA
stabs felcher: *bed time*
Kai Bahamut: *ditto. let skip to morning*
fatalchocolate12: oh, I thought you had to go to bed
stabs felcher: (it's 8:23 am)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Use mystical time warping DM powers.)
fatalchocolate12: (But I thought I was the DM.)
stabs felcher: (I mean where I am, it's 8:23 am, so I wouldn't be going to bed now)
SpusWidgetwatch: (I go to bed at 8:23am sometimes.)
fatalchocolate12: I go to bed at 1:23 AM
Kai Bahamut: i go to bed when the cold hand of death makes me.
stabs felcher: >_> your mom?!
fatalchocolate12: AHAHA
Kai Bahamut: No actually
Kai Bahamut: When my body can no long-
Kai Bahamut: eopwfa/.jv g b
stabs felcher: ..
Kai Bahamut: Brainsss.....
Kai Bahamut: Screw the cold hand of death
Kai Bahamut: Zarius:*wakes up and after putting on clothes heads down into teh tavern common area.*
SpusWidgetwatch: *puts on sweet innocent look downstairs, she totally didn't serve children elf last night*
stabs felcher: (We didn't get stabbed in the night? No? Good) Muddy: "YAAAAWWN!"
fatalchocolate12: Hmm... where's wardragon
Kai Bahamut: (Out doing scouty things.)
stabs felcher: (and watching muddy sleep...)
Kai Bahamut: "Is the storyteller here yet?" I ask the bartender.
fatalchocolate12: "Yes, but he won't be performing today. He was robbed! Can you believe that?"
Kai Bahamut: "What the- son of a bitch! Where is he? I want to talk with him about fixing that problem."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "What, did they steal his bloody tongue? I'm sure he can still tell stories..."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"It wasn't me."
fatalchocolate12: "Anyways, he said he wouldn't tell us stories until he got his money back. He's with the town guard, retracing his steps until the point when he found his money missing.
fatalchocolate12: "
stabs felcher: Muddy: "this town has a guard? How many men in it?"
Kai Bahamut: I sigh and then turn to my companinos. "Do we want to keep going or see what we can do ah... 'about' this."
Kai Bahamut: (in other words how can we profit from this.)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"We only wanted the info...we can simply persuade him to speak up."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Agreed. Persude."
Kai Bahamut: "Fine. Lets go look for him and the town guard."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "And away we go!" *marches like Dorothy*
Kai Bahamut: "We are off to see the wizard... the wonder red wizard of thay..." I saw marching with him.
Kai Bahamut: *say
Kai Bahamut: *wonderful
fatalchocolate12: ok, where do you look?
SpusWidgetwatch: (Town gate?)
stabs felcher: In the big building with Town Guard written on it
Kai Bahamut: Near the gates of town. guard posts are usally around there
fatalchocolate12: they won't tell you where the storyteller is in the town guard building for his security
stabs felcher: Muddy: "well maybe we should talk to someone in charge..." (how many guards? How tough do they look?)
Kai Bahamut: "We are looking for the theif also. Earlier another member of the town- a gnome who works at the local inn was robbed also."
fatalchocolate12: near the town gate, you see a long road going off in the distance and a guard detail there
SpusWidgetwatch: (Smile, sucker punch them, and run.)
Kai Bahamut: "Hmmm... There looking outside the town for the theif? odd. I vote we head off to the fortress and return here later. Our reason for staying wont sing."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Agreed. Fortress."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Awww, alright."
stabs felcher: (there's only three of us. how many town guards can we kill?)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Plenty.)
Kai Bahamut: (We might want to come back here to finish this sidequest. Bad idea killing guards. We can always hope for a random encounter on the road.)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Agreed. Kill."
Kai Bahamut: (and then loot there corpses and claim self defense.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Come back when I have Fireball.)
fatalchocolate12: so, you guys are going to try and kill the town guards
fatalchocolate12: right?
stabs felcher: (no, heading south to the other fortress. How many days travel?)
stabs felcher: (well.. again, how many guards/how tough do they look?)
fatalchocolate12: at that gate, there are 4 guards with regular armor and weapons, but they look kind of ripped
fatalchocolate12: (probably 17 str for avg
fatalchocolate12: )
Kai Bahamut: "No and no. When we come back with an army you can crush as many as you like." I say in a whisper.
stabs felcher: Muddy: *beckons guys away from guards* "Let's just head back to the master's territory. We can try and ambush some Deij for their uniforms..."
Kai Bahamut: "The more i hear that the more i like it. Let us walk around in places and not have any one think ill of us. We can also see what we can salvage fromt he ruins."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Riza? Any objections to heading back to the master's place? We know from our encounter earlier that we won't be slaughtered on sight..."
Kai Bahamut: "If we can bluff our way through. I can handle that."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"May as well."

[Spus]

Kai Bahamut: (change of plans then. We head on down to the remains of gerrens castle.)
Kai Bahamut: (ruins. whatever)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Well, I got my supplies" *chews jerky* "You lot ready? Mayhaps we'll find Eldan on the way..."
fatalchocolate12: so no fortress, right?
stabs felcher: (no, old ruins)
Kai Bahamut: (back to gerrens castle.) "I have some elf jerky of my own prepared. And Sally Sue can eat grass on the way."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I'll....I'll stick to trail rations, thank you..."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "And by elf jerky, you of course mean cooked by elves." *winks at guards*
Kai Bahamut: "Yes. You dont think they could do meat good but they do..." I say this as we start walking out of town.
stabs felcher: Muddy: "South and... east, right?"
fatalchocolate12: well, you have to go back to Merlahk unless you feel like hiking through about 15 miles of trees
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Trees bother anyone?"
Kai Bahamut: "No."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Trees might be good cover..."
Kai Bahamut: "Does anyone have a instictive knowledge of whats good to forage in the woods?"
SpusWidgetwatch: (The trees will get us! /Durkon)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Ah c'd tell ya which mushrooms ta eat and which to cover yer blade with" (+3 survival...)
Kai Bahamut: (I think thats enough to get us by. Can i go buy a book on how to survive in the wilderness in town?)
Kai Bahamut: (nvm. Lets just go.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (That scared of starving to death or something?)
stabs felcher: (agreeed, cut sou-east through the trees)
fatalchocolate12: its actually southwest
Kai Bahamut: (Sorta.)
stabs felcher: (I thought we headed North west to get here, but never mind)
fatalchocolate12: allright, you all walk for an hour through trees (which is about 40 minutes of not walking through trees, these guys are pretty packed) and you hear a bunch of laughing, working and other sounds coming from the north, maybe 60
SpusWidgetwatch: (Just go the most direct, non-fatal route.)
fatalchocolate12: feet away.
SpusWidgetwatch: (Forest? Humanoids? ELves, kill!)
fatalchocolate12: course of action?
stabs felcher: Muddy: *whisper* "Mayhaps one o' you quiet folk oughtta take a look?"
Kai Bahamut: I put down my stuff and move silently/hide to get closer and get a better view.
fatalchocolate12: ok, roll
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 2 20-sided dice: 19 16
Kai Bahamut: +2 dex for both
Kai Bahamut: that should be enough
fatalchocolate12: you sneak up and see a small clearing, maybe 40 feet in diameter with 8 tents. You see 3 women and 4 children doing housework.
SpusWidgetwatch: (Ruins it by running in and dacning on dry twigs)
Kai Bahamut: I creep back to Muddy and Riza. "Gypsies i think. i dont believe we have any reason to visit them?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "I've got no money for them to steal anyhow..."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I have no business with them."
Kai Bahamut: "Lets keep moving then."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "best be on the lookout for their man-folk though..."
fatalchocolate12: Before you left, there was a man that came in to the camp with a pouch and he was mirthful. You couldn't make out what he was saying
Kai Bahamut: "Come to think of it... i did see one of their men folk. He seemed pretty damn happy. i could swore their was jingling.. are you two still blood thristy?"
Kai Bahamut: *that it
stabs felcher: Muddy: "always"
Kai Bahamut: "Heres a chance to get it out of your systems."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I prefer more discreet methods, but if needed, it can be done.
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Alright, how bout you two sneak around opposite sides? Then I'll rush in the middle...."
Kai Bahamut: "Good idea. Lets do it."
stabs felcher: Muddy: *casts guidance* "I'll give ye thirty seconds to get inta position. Enough?"
fatalchocolate12: what does guidance do again?
stabs felcher: +1 to a roll
Kai Bahamut: Guidance?
Kai Bahamut: oh
Kai Bahamut: "do you want me to use expeditious retreat on you muddy? It will let you charge faster."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Aye, that'd do me well. And a guidance to you lad." *does so*
Kai Bahamut: *I cast ER on him*
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Ready lads?"
Kai Bahamut: Then i move into posistion and take out my crossbow and ready and get the male with the bag in my sights. "When i shoot my arrow, bring downt eh dogs of war upon them."
SpusWidgetwatch: *Casts Bless on party and Fist of stone on herself*
Kai Bahamut: I wait until he stands still then i fire.
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 9
stabs felcher: *Readies scythe just 30 feet from clearing, awaiting signal...*
Kai Bahamut: ( should have a total of 14 for that. +2 BAB +2DEX and +1 guidance)
SpusWidgetwatch: *Goes to wherever he's suppose to go*
stabs felcher: (+1 bless too)
fatalchocolate12: allright, kai and spus are on opposite sides, and stabs is in the perpendicular bisector of the diameter between spus and kai
fatalchocolate12: ... I need to quit geometry
Kai Bahamut: I got that)
SpusWidgetwatch: (I didn't.)
stabs felcher: (we're basically just surrounding them) Init?
fatalchocolate12: umm... lets go with that
Kai Bahamut: But did it hit the dude on a 15?
fatalchocolate12: yes
fatalchocolate12: roll for damage
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 8-sided die: 4
fatalchocolate12: 4 damage? or do you get bonuses?
Kai Bahamut: Im using a crossbow. I don think you apply DEX bonus to damage.
stabs felcher: (nope)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Nope.)
fatalchocolate12: allright, so 4 damage
SpusWidgetwatch: (Roll initiative?)
fatalchocolate12: yea
Kai Bahamut: (Does he die?)
fatalchocolate12: nope
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 2
Kai Bahamut: 4. Damn
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 20-sided die: 4
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 20-sided die: 20
Kai Bahamut: Wow
SpusWidgetwatch: 24
Kai Bahamut: Someone got all the luck
stabs felcher: 3 for me
fatalchocolate12: the bolt hits him in the side and it looks painful
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 2 20-sided dice: 11 11
fatalchocolate12: ok, spus
SpusWidgetwatch: (Closest enemy combatant and distance?)
fatalchocolate12: do you define the women and children as combatants?
SpusWidgetwatch: (No. Not threats. Unless they have swords or something.)
Kai Bahamut: (Take out the men, then the women, then children if it so pleases you.)
fatalchocolate12: oh, yeah, I can see elven women and children with waraxes, daggars, and shotguns
fatalchocolate12: ok, time for dinn3|*
Kai Bahamut: There elves? Boy is Valin missing out on her dream.
Kai Bahamut: (We are not going to cook these. Too much work.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Bah, I have to wait because I don't want to execute women and children- excuse me for trying to be somewhat civilized )
stabs felcher: (those children could be explosive!)
Kai Bahamut: (You could go after the wounded guy i shot.)
Kai Bahamut: (Waits for his turn to shoot someone else in the side.
Kai Bahamut: is everyone still here?
stabs felcher: (yeah... just waiting)
stabs felcher: (back in a few minutes though)
Kai Bahamut: k
stabs felcher: ....
Kai Bahamut: wb
Kai Bahamut: Is Spus sitll with us?
fatalchocolate12: yo
SpusWidgetwatch: Yes, just tired heh
Kai Bahamut: ah. ok
Kai Bahamut: Now lets f'up the gypsies!
fatalchocolate12: allright, I believe it was spus's turn?
SpusWidgetwatch: (So who's the closest person who's actually a threat?)
fatalchocolate12: the guy
fatalchocolate12: he's the only threat
SpusWidgetwatch: (How far is he?)
fatalchocolate12: 20 ft
SpusWidgetwatch: (Walk up to him and scythe him in the face.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Should be fine unless all the gypsies have improved unarmed strike heh)
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 20-sided die: 5
SpusWidgetwatch: bah, only 10.
fatalchocolate12: fail
Kai Bahamut: Dex or armor. one of th two. But dont forget bless and such
SpusWidgetwatch: (1 BAB+ 3 from FoS +1 from Bless)
fatalchocolate12: ok
Kai Bahamut: oh)
Kai Bahamut: I guess its my turn then
SpusWidgetwatch: (Are they all going to try to punch me to death now?)
fatalchocolate12: no, all the women freak out and tell the children to run away while the women themselves run away
Kai Bahamut: (oh right. I sucked on my intiative roll)
stabs felcher: (Riza! AoO!)
Kai Bahamut: (But ironically they may run right to where im hiding.)
fatalchocolate12: actually, the guy goes first, but I don't htink it matters
SpusWidgetwatch: (No poor Child is going to make a swing at me so I get an AoO?)
Kai Bahamut: (If one runs by me i may just punch them out.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (How many HP does a 4 year old have? )
fatalchocolate12: 1
Kai Bahamut: If i hit, id knock him out)
stabs felcher: *waits*
SpusWidgetwatch: (Who's next?)
stabs felcher: (children and the man)
SpusWidgetwatch: (What's the CR on a 4 year old?)
fatalchocolate12: allright, so all the women and children go running by riza in an attempt to get to town
fatalchocolate12: probably 1/64
fatalchocolate12: if they are lucky
stabs felcher: (smack one Riza! AoO!)
Kai Bahamut: "Cut them all down! The less witness's the better!"
SpusWidgetwatch: (Oh all right if you want me to be barbaric)
SpusWidgetwatch: Random Women
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 20-sided die: 11
SpusWidgetwatch: 16
fatalchocolate12: hit
stabs felcher: (Yay!)
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 2 4-sided dice: 1 2
SpusWidgetwatch: 7.
fatalchocolate12: ok, you take off her head and left arm
Kai Bahamut: Cool.
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Stop running and I won't do that!"
fatalchocolate12: you can't be heard in the pitterpatter+pounding of feet
WarDragon 1984 has entered the room.
WarDragon 1984: (sorry I'm so late, guys)
stabs felcher: (just killing some more commoners)
SpusWidgetwatch: (And learning the statistics of 4-year olds!)
Kai Bahamut: (Yeah. you can be backing me up on shooting down the only guy in the group.)
WarDragon 1984: (excellent. What did I miss?)
SpusWidgetwatch: (What's the ability array for a 4 year old? )
Kai Bahamut: We cooked the elf adn now everyone has elf jerky
Kai Bahamut: all stats -2
WarDragon 1984: (Uh..Val can have my share of the Elf jerky.)
Kai Bahamut: (Good for her.) "Eldan! Blast the man. He may be our only threat."
WarDragon 1984: (who am I blasting?)
fatalchocolate12: a d00d
Kai Bahamut: Gypsy dude
Kai Bahamut: We are n the forest on the way to Gerrens castle
WarDragon 1984: (ok.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Except Riza. Who finds eating elves herself to be disgusting, but has no qualms for other people doing it )
WarDragon 1984: "Very well." I blast him.
WarDragon 1984: after moving the obligatory 10 ft., of course.
stabs felcher: ...
Kai Bahamut: I guess you would roll to hit now
OnlineHost: WarDragon 1984 rolled 1 20-sided die: 7
WarDragon 1984: (sorry, having to do about three things at once....)
Kai Bahamut: ok
Kai Bahamut: Fatal? Does he hit?
WarDragon 1984: does 11 hit?
fatalchocolate12: nope
fatalchocolate12: almost, but nope
WarDragon 1984: crud.
Kai Bahamut: I guess its guys turn now
fatalchocolate12: ok, well, he's pissed at Riza for beheading/be-arming one of the women, so he shanks her
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 20-sided die: 19
fatalchocolate12: isn't that crit threat
fatalchocolate12: for a daggar?
WarDragon 1984: (yep)
SpusWidgetwatch: (What kinda dagger?)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Punching or normal?)
WarDragon 1984: (for regular, yes, it is.)
fatalchocolate12: normal
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 20-sided die: 4
fatalchocolate12: Riza is lucky
fatalchocolate12: its 1d4 for damage iirc
Kai Bahamut: yep
OnlineHost: fatalchocolate12 rolled 1 4-sided die: 3
fatalchocolate12: 4 damage
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Ass..."
Kai Bahamut: My turn. I blast him off his feet with a magic missle. I assume i just have to roll damage?
fatalchocolate12: he sticks you in the side for payback
fatalchocolate12: yeah
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 4-sided die: 2
Kai Bahamut: 3 damage. "Know your place! Magic Missle!"
stabs felcher: (heh your verbal component is "Magic Missile?"
SpusWidgetwatch: (Trying to do FFT?)
WarDragon 1984: (we're doing the "verbal component as spell name" thing, are we?)
Kai Bahamut: (why not?)
stabs felcher: (hehe it's fine, just funny)
fatalchocolate12: well, you don't have to shout it, but yea...
stabs felcher: Ooh muddy now?!
Kai Bahamut: yep
Kai Bahamut: Is the guy dead?
fatalchocolate12: nope
stabs felcher: RAAWR! Muddy charges in to scythe the guy for real this time.
fatalchocolate12: close, but nope
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 20-sided die: 17
fatalchocolate12: hi5t
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 2 4-sided dice: 2 1
fatalchocolate12: dead
WarDragon 1984: (works for me. Invocation names tend to be cooler than spell names, anyway )
stabs felcher: Rawr! 7 damage
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Scythe to the eye Attack!"
Kai Bahamut: I rush out and begin searching his corpse.
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Take that there dagger, Riza. Might do well to remind you to not get stabbed."
fatalchocolate12: ok, he too has a daggar, and the aforementioned bag of gold
SpusWidgetwatch: "I have other uses for this"
Kai Bahamut: "All the cool kids have one." I give Riza the dagger. "Lets see how much gold he has.
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Zar, search the body. We've gotta hunt down these kids..." (Runs off in their direction at 200 feet/round ^_^)
WarDragon 1984: (what are the kids, now?)
WarDragon 1984: (would I want them dead?)
Kai Bahamut: (This was a gypsie camp. We want them dead so theyc ant tell anyone.)
fatalchocolate12: wtf? how 200 ft/round?
stabs felcher: (expeditious retreat)
Kai Bahamut: Expeditious retreat
fatalchocolate12: oh yeah
fatalchocolate12: ok, you catch up to them pretty damn fast
WarDragon 1984: I follow them, in pursuit of the kids, as well, then.
Kai Bahamut: I begin figuring out how to divide the found gold
stabs felcher: Muddy: "You there! Kids! Slow down! I killed that man that shot your friend!"
SpusWidgetwatch: (Offer them elf jerky.)
fatalchocolate12: They are ordered to scatter by the women
Kai Bahamut: (kill them
stabs felcher: I'll go after the nearest woman and scythe her spine out
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 20-sided die: 16
fatalchocolate12: hit
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 2 4-sided dice: 2 3
stabs felcher: 9 damage! Rawr for Muddy!
WarDragon 1984: Let me know when I'm within 60 ft. of them.
Kai Bahamut: How much gold did the guy have on him?
stabs felcher: (they're not that far away, they only ran for 1 round)
fatalchocolate12: a good 125 gp
WarDragon 1984: (ah.)
SpusWidgetwatch: I suppose Riza chases as well going swing happy
fatalchocolate12: ok, so muddy kills 1 of the women, and there is only 1 woman left but 4 children
fatalchocolate12: it'll take you all 2 rounds to catch up with the children, except for muddy of course
stabs felcher: (how fast do the little munchkins run a round?)
Kai Bahamut: I happily rummage through the gypsies personal stuff looking for valuables.
WarDragon 1984: Since I have a 60 ft. range on my blast, can I shoot them this round?
Kai Bahamut: (no more than 15 or 20 i think
fatalchocolate12: ok, you find several stashes of gold, all totaling in 643 gp
Kai Bahamut: Begins mental math
Kai Bahamut: screw that, takes out computer calculator
SpusWidgetwatch: (We're rich, we can retire to some tropical island)
fatalchocolate12: ok, so wardragon fires at one of the children
WarDragon 1984: (speak for yourself. Only a drop in the bucket, compared to the price of a True Ress.)
Kai Bahamut: (or buy better weapons and kill more thing and get more money
OnlineHost: WarDragon 1984 rolled 1 20-sided die: 6
WarDragon 1984: 9 hit?
fatalchocolate12: actually, you have 2 roll a d% because the children have 1/2 cover
fatalchocolate12: bunch of trees
Kai Bahamut: We will each be able to take 160 gp each
stabs felcher: (cover's just -4 to hit. Concealment is 20% miss chance)
OnlineHost: WarDragon 1984 rolled 1 100-sided die: 48
fatalchocolate12: oh, nvm then
fatalchocolate12: I usually get cover and concealment mixed up
fatalchocolate12: both start with Cs
Kai Bahamut: Im pretty sure that misses even the bigger kids
Kai Bahamut: Also four year olds would be a small size. like a halfling
fatalchocolate12: oh yeah, so you miss
WarDragon 1984: crap.
WarDragon 1984: still in pursuit, then.
SpusWidgetwatch: (Do I blindly flail my scythe at them yet?)
Kai Bahamut: I dont think your close enough yet
stabs felcher: I'll go after the woman, then, seeing as she's likely the fastest. (unless she's more than 100 feet away, I charge)
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 20-sided die: 20
Kai Bahamut: wow
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 20-sided die: 10
fatalchocolate12: I think you crit
Kai Bahamut: Make it cool.
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 2 4-sided dice: 2 2
SpusWidgetwatch: (DOn't bother, you splatter her into a million pieces)
stabs felcher: That's 32 damage.....
fatalchocolate12: OMGWTF
fatalchocolate12: you just did enough damage to take out 8 of her
Kai Bahamut: You multislash her and finish it with a blast of pure dark power
stabs felcher: I'll stand amongst her remains as blood rains over me. "Flower, Fist, and BESTIAL WAIL!"
Kai Bahamut: And thats cool
fatalchocolate12: no, not only cut her into 8ths with 1 swing, but your force knocks her into a tree, where she goes SUPERSPLAT and you see lots of blood
WarDragon 1984: "Impressive."
Kai Bahamut: Do the children go mad seeing sucha horrfic sight?
SpusWidgetwatch: (FATALITY.)
Kai Bahamut: (no. BRUTATLITY)
fatalchocolate12: actually, she was behind them trying to goad them on, so a few see a little blood flying forward but nothing else
stabs felcher: (that's two down... 400 000 000 to go)
WarDragon 1984: (did we ever roll init?)
Kai Bahamut: No. only four childrens
SpusWidgetwatch: (Can I attempt to splatter them now? oo oo! )
fatalchocolate12: ok, all 3 women down, 1 man down, 4 children left
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Hunt down the little'ns, my pretties!"
SpusWidgetwatch: (C'mon, lemme scythe a kiddy )
Kai Bahamut: (Nothings stopping you
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 20-sided die: 11
WarDragon 1984: "Don't ever call us that again," as I continue blasting kids.

[Spus]

SpusWidgetwatch: (16)
fatalchocolate12: hit
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 2 4-sided dice: 3 4
SpusWidgetwatch: 11.
Kai Bahamut: Another one bites the dust
Kai Bahamut: If you hit damage shouldnt be needed
fatalchocolate12: yeah
OnlineHost: WarDragon 1984 rolled 1 20-sided die: 10
WarDragon 1984: 14?
fatalchocolate12: yeah
WarDragon 1984: (13 if I'm farther than 30 ft.)
WarDragon 1984: do I need to roll damage?
Kai Bahamut: With 1hp? i woudlnt think so
WarDragon 1984: ok, then.
stabs felcher: (Kai you joining in? Come on. ONE OF US! ONE OF US!)
Kai Bahamut: (Im too far away. Im busy raiding the camp for gold. And books.)
stabs felcher: Alright then, I'll charge at another innocent.
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 20-sided die: 13
fatalchocolate12: so 3 down
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 2 4-sided dice: 2 3
fatalchocolate12: sorry, 4 down
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 20-sided die: 8
fatalchocolate12: k, you killed everyone
SpusWidgetwatch: (Awww...)
Kai Bahamut: Mission Complete! All Children slaughtered
stabs felcher: Anything good on their bodies?
fatalchocolate12: nope
fatalchocolate12: well, 1 of the women has a nice rack, but I don't know if that counts...
SpusWidgetwatch: (Dammit, why don't children carry +5 scythes?)
stabs felcher: *sniff* Muddy heads back to the campsite, now covered in blood and even smellier
Kai Bahamut: (for the same reason the guy dosent have a +5 vorpal sword)
Kai Bahamut: "Welcome back slayers of the innocent. Your cut of all the gold is a 160gp. Its already divied up." (and did i ever find any good books?)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Now who has that Detect Magic spell?"
fatalchocolate12: what books?
Kai Bahamut: Do teh gypsies have any books i can steal
fatalchocolate12: nope
WarDragon 1984 has left the room.
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Aye, mageling, (to Zarius), keep sixty gold of mah share, as fer payment of that there nifty spell ye cast on me."
Kai Bahamut: "Keep your share. You earned it and as the last part of my debt to you for my life earlier."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Oh, aye. Is anyone else wounded?"
Kai Bahamut: "Riza is."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Don't touch me."
Kai Bahamut: "You can wait for it to heal naturally, but we must be moving on."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Come on, y've seen i got the master's touch with women!" *he points towards the bodies*
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Bah!" *CLWs self*
fatalchocolate12: what happened to the maggots in your beard?
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 8-sided die: 5
stabs felcher: (I hope they're alive and well)
Kai Bahamut: I watch
Kai Bahamut: Sally Sue eat teh grass around the corpses.
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Shall we continue on?"
Kai Bahamut: "Yes."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Did ye search their tents Zar?"
Kai Bahamut: "Hm? Yes. Thats were i found the extra gold"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "alright then. Though, we could wait for the other manfolk to return..."
WarDragon 1984 has entered the room.
Kai Bahamut: wb
WarDragon 1984: (freaking crappy connection.)
Kai Bahamut: "Eldan, do a quick detect magic for us will you?"
WarDragon 1984: (sorry, what'd I miss?)
WarDragon 1984: "Of course." I detect magic on the loot.
fatalchocolate12: sorry, you don't have enchanted money
Kai Bahamut: (not much.)
WarDragon 1984: (the dagger?)
fatalchocolate12: nonmagical
WarDragon 1984: "Nothing."
Kai Bahamut: "Answers that question. Onto to Gerrens castle."
WarDragon 1984: "Now, we had best be on our way, just in case we missed any of the witnesses."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Isn't slaughtering thier wives and children enough?"
WarDragon 1984: (btw, why are we going back to the castle?)
stabs felcher: (to steal deij uniforms and find out about their leadership)
Kai Bahamut: (see what we can find and also maybe get some Deij uniforms.)
WarDragon 1984: (ok)
WarDragon 1984: Moving on, then?
stabs felcher: (yup)
fatalchocolate12: seems like it
Kai Bahamut: So... how long does it take for us to get their?
fatalchocolate12: it would take like 4 and a half days
Kai Bahamut: Okay
SpusWidgetwatch: (Use DM time travel powers)
stabs felcher: Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot....
Kai Bahamut: left foot, right foot, left foot, left foot.. damn messed up again
fatalchocolate12: yes, I travel to 1862 and kill the president
fatalchocolate12: then I come back
fatalchocolate12: that's what I call power
Kai Bahamut: Hey did yall hear that strom thurmond won the election again?
SpusWidgetwatch: (Our DM is John Wilkes Boothe?)
fatalchocolate12: ... maybe.
Kai Bahamut: Robo Lincoln is so going to kick your ass.
fatalchocolate12: hey, I just got a good idea for your next boss...
WarDragon 1984 has left the room.
Kai Bahamut: Robo Eliminster?
Kai Bahamut: Potter vs. Mecha Potter?
SpusWidgetwatch: Is there a Robo Template?
SpusWidgetwatch: Robo Kobolds? Robo Tarrarasque?
Kai Bahamut: half-golem
Kai Bahamut: Robo Constable?
fatalchocolate12: no, robo lincoln
SpusWidgetwatch: To kill him, we need to build a Robo-John Wilkes Boothe.
Kai Bahamut: Wow. Hope he dosent use the nuke i put in his top hat. The south is advised to rise again or at least in vest in nuclear sheilding.
Kai Bahamut: Or shoot him in the head from behind during a play
WarDragon 1984 has entered the room.
SpusWidgetwatch: So we're playing the game or discussing mechanized 19th century political figures?
stabs felcher: ... I think that's pretty obvious... the robot one
Kai Bahamut: Now that Eldans back neither
SpusWidgetwatch: Because Robo-Van Buren could totally kick everyones ass.
Kai Bahamut: Robo Washington is everyones daddy.
Kai Bahamut: He owns Van Buren
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Ahem" *goes south*
Kai Bahamut: "...I have this odd urge to make a golem with a large top hat."
SpusWidgetwatch: (Nothing on Robo-Teddy Roosevelt)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Would he have a long, luxurious beard?" *muddy strokes the ol' maggot nest*
WarDragon 1984 has left the room.
Kai Bahamut: (Theres always robo Clinton) "Oddly... yes he would have a beard."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Well I'll be yer model!"
Kai Bahamut: (Have we reached the fortress yet?) "No he'd be a lot taller."
WarDragon 1984 has left the room.
Kai Bahamut: "I also have this fealing that hed free teh slaves." (and how did wardragon leave if he wasnt here?)
fatalchocolate12: he's having megaAIM problems
SpusWidgetwatch: (STOP FARKING WITH THE TIME SPACE CONTINIUN WD)
Kai Bahamut: Well lets move on before times collapses in on itself. "I think were almost there Riza."
SpusWidgetwatch: (*Continium rather) "Golems with top hats...bah..."
WarDragon 1984 has entered the room.
WarDragon 1984: (freakin' finally!)
fatalchocolate12: W00T
stabs felcher: (*Continuum)
WarDragon 1984: (what did I miss since Kai asked how long it would take to get there?)
fatalchocolate12: SUCK THAT YOU GODDAMN AIM DEMONS!!!!!ONE!!ONETY-ONE
stabs felcher: (four and a half days to get there. nothing relevant posted since)
Kai Bahamut: yay! "Eldan, go scout ahead and tell me if theres any patrols around the castle." (Not much. more banter.)
WarDragon 1984: (don't taunt my connection, I'm still at its mercy.)
WarDragon 1984: "Very good."
WarDragon 1984: I go scout ahead. Checks:
OnlineHost: WarDragon 1984 rolled 2 20-sided dice: 11 4
Kai Bahamut: Just take 10
Kai Bahamut: or 20
fatalchocolate12: ok, you see the base is completely swamped with Deji crusaders
fatalchocolate12: like 3 times as many people in there as were in it when Gerren was in command
WarDragon 1984: can I still choose to take 10 or 20 when I've already rolled?
WarDragon 1984: if I can, then I'll take 10, for 17 on both.
WarDragon 1984: And now, I'm lagging.
WarDragon 1984: I'll go back to the others and tell them what I saw. "The castle is swarming with Deji. There's no way we could slip in undetected."
Kai Bahamut: "Damn. Then this trip was a waste of time."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "We should back off a bit, and see if we can ambush a lone patrol..."
WarDragon 1984: "Not a bad idea, Muddy, but very risky."
WarDragon 1984 has left the room.
Kai Bahamut: "No. For the same reason during our first run through here. I dont want all of them after us."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "But if we can swipe their uniforms, we c'n blend in... if we can just find a small patrol..."
WarDragon 1984 has entered the room.
WarDragon 1984: (my connection just fuzzed again. Miss anything after my last message?)
Kai Bahamut: "We would need one of 4 people. If you see one let me know."
Kai Bahamut: "Oh yes and one must be a dwarf."
stabs felcher: (kai says no, Muddy says yes to ambushing patrol)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"You aren't going to blend in when you smell like a dead racoon who was rolled in feces."
WarDragon 1984: (did I see any Dwarves among them?)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Standard deij fair I believe."
fatalchocolate12: no, no dwarves
fatalchocolate12: the deji are nothing but human
SpusWidgetwatch: (Any midgets?)
fatalchocolate12: they are slightly supremist
fatalchocolate12: none that are dwarf short
Kai Bahamut: "Then no way."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Blasted bigots. I suppose I could pass for a short human if no one got a good look at me..."
SpusWidgetwatch: (Get Muddy some elevated shoes.)
WarDragon 1984: "Unlikely. They all have noses."
Kai Bahamut: "Lets us pull back to the other fortress then. If hte Deij havent yet moved against it, they will."
WarDragon 1984: "I suppose Zarius, Riza, and myself could enter releatively unnoticed with proper attire, though."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Well what's your bloody plan human?"
stabs felcher: (oh)
Kai Bahamut: "hmph. If Riza agrees i will too. I dont like it but the benefits could be great."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "then we drop back to the patrol route we hit a week back?"
WarDragon 1984: "I would also prefer not to take the risk, myself."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Could work. How stupid do you take them?"
Kai Bahamut: "I dont know. We could post as new recruits."
Kai Bahamut: *pose
Kai Bahamut: "Show up, say we are here for are first assignments and recieve our uniforms."
WarDragon 1984: "Not likely. I say we just move for the other fortress, as quickly as possible."
Kai Bahamut: I think it over. "Who wants to go to the fortress raise your hand."
WarDragon 1984: *raises hand*
stabs felcher: Muddy: "the last fortress was a bloody disappointment! One old mad man? What's the point?!"
Kai Bahamut: "The other might not be. There could also be more stuff for us to use."
WarDragon 1984: "They may not have reached the other yet. And the men may not have been as cowardly."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Seems a little silly, given our states- Women with a bloody rusty scythe- I'm totally going for the greater good with that."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Fine. To the southern fortress it is. but I'll not stay my blade if their be deij along our path."
Kai Bahamut: "I agree. Lets go."
WarDragon 1984: "Nor shall we, if we get the chance."
WarDragon 1984: *starts walking*
Kai Bahamut: (insert DM time travel to fortress, please.)
WarDragon 1984: (testing, testing)
fatalchocolate12: ok, this time, I travel into the future and kill hte president
Kai Bahamut: *dies
stabs felcher: ...
SpusWidgetwatch: (Bastard deserved it.)
Kai Bahamut: Okay are we at the fortress? Do i see any besiegeing armies?
fatalchocolate12: nope
WarDragon 1984: testing again...
SpusWidgetwatch: (I need to go AFK and destinkify myself)
Kai Bahamut: "Same Drill. Me and Eldan scout, you two stay and keep a look out."
fatalchocolate12: so, you walk forward and the trees are beginning to dissappear much like the last fortress
WarDragon 1984: *takes 10 on stealthy skills*
Kai Bahamut: *ditto*
fatalchocolate12: You see a bunch of Gerren's soldiers walking around and everything looks normal
WarDragon 1984: "You tell the others. I'll go and speak with them."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Something is up..."
Kai Bahamut: "Thank Hextor. Ill do the talking."
WarDragon 1984: We all approach, then?
Kai Bahamut: I approach them and say. "I am Zarius Aurion, retainer for Lord Gerren. I am under orders to speak to this fortress's commanding officer."
WarDragon 1984: "And I am Eldan Shadowsson, hereditary servent of the Lord. We bear urgent news for your officers."
fatalchocolate12: You then see the clouds swirling. They then come to the form of a giant bust of a humanoid. His arm draws backwards, and he launches it forward, surging the whole cloud formation onto the base. The clouds catch fire, and they
fatalchocolate12: explode upon contact with the base.
WarDragon 1984:
fatalchocolate12: I feel like waitin for spus b4 we go any further
Kai Bahamut has left the room.
stabs felcher: I'll be back in a while. Go on without me, I'll read it intermittantly. Muddy will be hiding in the treeline and will follow the group if they need to
WarDragon 1984: I'll be running away when the clouds hit, methinks.
Kai Bahamut has entered the room.
Kai Bahamut: what have i missed
WarDragon 1984: not much.

[Spus]

Kai Bahamut: lets keep going then
WarDragon 1984: Muddy's hiding in trees, following as needed, I'm running when I see the clouds attack.
WarDragon 1984: and we're waiting on Spus to get back from his de-stinkification.
Kai Bahamut: Wait... the clouds are what?
WarDragon 1984: You then see the clouds swirling. They then come to the form of a giant bust of a humanoid. His arm draws backwards, and he launches it forward, surging the whole cloud formation onto the base. The clouds catch fire, and they
WarDragon 1984: fatalchocolate12: explode upon contact with the base.
Kai Bahamut: Holy shit
Kai Bahamut: Now we know what happned to the other base.
stabs felcher: What knowledge check is applicable to these happenings?
WarDragon 1984: looks like it.
Kai Bahamut: Knoledge (OMGWTFBBQ!)
Kai Bahamut: Maybe planes
fatalchocolate12: its actually Knowledge (duh)
Kai Bahamut: what? I dont have any ranks i that!
Kai Bahamut: Well what is it then?
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 20-sided die: 7
OnlineHost: WarDragon 1984 rolled 1 20-sided die: 3
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 4
Kai Bahamut: wow
WarDragon 1984: if it's Arcana, that's 6. If it's Nature, 4, and the Planes 5.
fatalchocolate12: yes, you start the game with ranks=your wisdom score
fatalchocolate12: and if you fail, your int and wis go down 2 points each
Kai Bahamut: Dammit! we all lose me thinks
fatalchocolate12: actually, the DCs are usually 2
Kai Bahamut: sigh
Kai Bahamut: of relief
Kai Bahamut: Is it a angry god?
fatalchocolate12: Knowledge (duh) checks can't tell you that
stabs felcher: Well what knowledge is it?
WarDragon 1984: I think we can safely say that none of us knows crap about it.
Kai Bahamut: Except that is kicking the crap our of our fortress. "Who or what are you!" I say loudly.
fatalchocolate12: well, it would either be sense motive to tell you if he's angry, or... well, yeah sense motive
fatalchocolate12: no, not kicking, it just esplodes
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 1 20-sided die: 15
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 15
stabs felcher: My Sense Motive is 23
Kai Bahamut: 14
fatalchocolate12: yes, he is very, very, very angry
Kai Bahamut: "Why do you kill them!?" I yell at it.
fatalchocolate12: it's gone
fatalchocolate12: it blew up
stabs felcher: Angry at us or just at the castle, Fatal?
fatalchocolate12: you can't yell at it
fatalchocolate12: angry at the castle
Kai Bahamut: "...When we get back to a town we are talking with some clerics of Vecna or Boccob."
WarDragon 1984 has left the room.
WarDragon 1984 has entered the room.
Kai Bahamut: "But first look amongst the ruins. See if you cant find anything useful."
WarDragon 1984: (was there anything after this: Kai Bahamut: "Why do you kill them!?" I yell at it.)?
SpusWidgetwatch: (Back)
Kai Bahamut: The thingy was angry at the castle and i tell everyone we are going to consult a priest of Boccob or Vecna after thsi.
WarDragon 1984: (works for me. I vote Vecna.)
Kai Bahamut: ANd to first start rummaging for stuff. And thats the next thing i do.
WarDragon 1984: (or Asmodeus, if we can find one.)
WarDragon 1984: I start looking for survivors, without much hope.
Kai Bahamut: I vote boccob, then we try Vecna. Boccob temples are easier to find.
Kai Bahamut: Search check?
fatalchocolate12: well, there were a few that were farther away from the castle than others, so they are dying
Kai Bahamut: "Muddy, Riza do what you can for them."
SpusWidgetwatch: (Why does my grape juice taste like soap?)
fatalchocolate12: (wtf)
Kai Bahamut: (because you touch yourself at night.)
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 18
Kai Bahamut: (20 if i can use that for a search check
SpusWidgetwatch: (what's happening exactly?)
WarDragon 1984: (fortress go boom.)
WarDragon 1984: (we think it was an angry god.)
Kai Bahamut: And now we are looking for loot/surviors. Go get healing the survivors.
SpusWidgetwatch: (Not our day I suppose.)
fatalchocolate12: ok, there are 6 guys that are dying
stabs felcher: Muddy runs up to the nearest 2, casting his CMW.
SpusWidgetwatch: (And remember, I'm a bitch when it comes to healing) Riza looks for anyone who looks obviously alive.
WarDragon 1984: Untrained heal check:
OnlineHost: WarDragon 1984 rolled 1 20-sided die: 5
Kai Bahamut: Do i find anythign on a 20 for search check?
WarDragon 1984: which probably finishes them off, if anything.
SpusWidgetwatch: Go to the one Eldan screwed up on, and use Cure Minor Wounds.
fatalchocolate12: no one looks obviously alive
SpusWidgetwatch: (Band-aid spell)
fatalchocolate12: yeah, you found the 6 dying people and a bunch of rocks
SpusWidgetwatch: (If no one is alive, Hail of Stone on them to make sure they stay dead.)
Kai Bahamut: "Dammit." I go to help Eldan with antoher one of the injured.
Kai Bahamut: "Come on, ill help you with one of them."
SpusWidgetwatch: (soo...does Cure Minor Wounds work, or did I heal a corpse?
fatalchocolate12: of course sure minor wounds works
fatalchocolate12: it always works
SpusWidgetwatch: Find another one who's not pushing up daisys.
Kai Bahamut: "Eldan? Are you going to help me or what?"
fatalchocolate12: ok, 3 more are dying, and 3 are stabilized
Kai Bahamut: I start to work on one of the dying.
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 6
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Hmm... the doctor is IN!" (heal checks)
OnlineHost: stabs felcher rolled 3 20-sided dice: 4 9 17
Kai Bahamut: 5 like eldan
SpusWidgetwatch: Cure Minor WOunds to another poor sap
stabs felcher: hmm... a 7, a 12, a 20...
fatalchocolate12: allright, everyone that was dying will be fine
Kai Bahamut: I use detect good on the lot of them.
WarDragon 1984 has left the room.
WarDragon 1984 has entered the room.
fatalchocolate12: they are all bad guys, liking to kill, rape, steal, pillage, and leave the seat up
fatalchocolate12: you don't get much for detect good
WarDragon 1984: this was the last thing I saw: Kai Bahamut: "Come on, ill help you with one of them."SpusWidgetwatch: (soo...does Cure Minor Wounds work, or did I heal a corpse?
WarDragon 1984: (what'd I miss this time, damn it?)
Kai Bahamut: We helped a bunch of dying soldiers
WarDragon 1984: ok.
Kai Bahamut: (on that note how far below 0 are they?
WarDragon 1984: "Damnit... this cannot be happening! Lord Gerren's empire was meant to be eternal!"
Kai Bahamut: "Its not over yet. With these men, we can help it rise again."
WarDragon 1984: "The order he built cannot be toppled by a group of ragtag busy-bodies! It cannot!"
fatalchocolate12: avg of 4-8
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Well... there's ten of us now... we can surely strike fear into the heart of the Deij!"
WarDragon 1984: "You're right, Zarius; we WILL restore Lord Gerren to his throne." Eldan's eyes have the gleam of a fanatic as he says this.
Kai Bahamut: "Heh. At any rate we need to get these men real help. Ill run back to Brenthall and get some real clerics donw here. Unless you two want to expent some CLW."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Only got a couple of Vigor spells prepped. They do in a pinch, if ye want to talk to one now."
WarDragon 1984: "That would help, Muddy. It would get them back on their feet, at least."
Kai Bahamut: "Do i on the highest ranked one."
stabs felcher: (do any look to be sergeants or higher ups?)
fatalchocolate12: you can't tell difference in rank by looking at them
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza picks a radom one and casts CLW
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 1 8-sided die: 3
SpusWidgetwatch: 5.
Kai Bahamut: "Thank you, Riza."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Get up lazy ass."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza kicks him.
Kai Bahamut: "..."
SpusWidgetwatch: (Who said I was a kind healer?)
Kai Bahamut: (No one. For his sake he better weak up soon.)
stabs felcher: Muddy puts a few maggots in the wounds of those recovering, to ensure they don't get gangrene -_^
WarDragon 1984 has left the room.
WarDragon 1984 has entered the room.
WarDragon 1984: (what did I miss? I saw: fatalchocolate12: you can't tell difference in rank by looking at themYou have just entered room "chat40568696991676195726.")
stabs felcher: we stabilized them all and Riza CLW one and we're waiting for him to say something
WarDragon 1984: thanks
WarDragon 1984: (and next time my connection craps out, I think I'm just gonna give up...)
Kai Bahamut: Im petting Sally Sue while i wait
SpusWidgetwatch: I kick the guard again.
Kai Bahamut: "How barbaric
fatalchocolate12: ok, so the guy you are kicking starts to regain consciousness
fatalchocolate12: "Whuh?... Who are you?"
WarDragon 1984: "No need for that, Riza. They're on our side."
Kai Bahamut: "I am Zarius Aurion, reatainer for Lord Gerren."
WarDragon 1984: "We are fellow servents of Lord Gerren, bringing dire news to your fortress."
Kai Bahamut: "Besidest he fact it was just blown up."
WarDragon 1984: "Only it seems the news reached here ahead of us."
Kai Bahamut: (we dont know that yet.)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"If he got up quicker, he'd get kicked less."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Clearly the gods themselves are against us. I think we should find a ship and sail to another continent. We are in mortal peril if we stay anywhere around here...."
Kai Bahamut: "Lord Gerren has been slain by Deij. They had a powerful construct to aid them. They now inhabit his castle like fleas on a dog."
fatalchocolate12: "What happened?" He's very groggy, like how you feel after you get woken up from 15 minutes of sleep
Kai Bahamut: "The gods can follow you across continents if they wish, Muddy."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Well I
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"We ask the questions, start barking about just what the hell happened or I'll take from you what I just gave you."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Well I'll shave me bloody beard! No one will recognize the great Muddy Grae Calahan without his famous beard!"
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"You're a dwarf, it'll grow back in 2 hours."
WarDragon 1984: "We can argue later!"
fatalchocolate12: whoa, I never knew your middle and last names were Grae and Calahan
WarDragon 1984: I turn to the revived dude. "Soldier, is there anythng you can tell us about what just happened to this outpost?"
Kai Bahamut: "The day i see a dwarf shave his beard off is the day i stop loving her...." I trail off for a moment.
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Yer lass have a beard too? Is that what yer saying?"
fatalchocolate12: "Huh?" he looks at the castle and then gets an OMGWTFBBQ look on his face. "What happened here!?!" He's a bit more awake
stabs felcher: *muddy says this in a truly sympathetic way, as women in his clan had beards*
Kai Bahamut: "It was blown up by a very powerful force." I turn to muddy. "No. She wasnt a dwarf."
WarDragon 1984: "You're in the dark as much as we are, then? From what we saw, the sky itself seemed to take offense at the fort's continued existence."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Bah! What a waste of time! Would of been just effective to let them bleed to death."
WarDragon 1984: "Riza. Shut. Up."
fatalchocolate12: "Figures. Tomorrow I get off the frontlines."
Kai Bahamut: "It was wiped away, except for you and your allys. As the elder surviving officers of lord Gerren the chain of command falls down to us. We will help you recover and then we need your service."
fatalchocolate12: "What about the other bases? We can get their help to take back Lord Gerren's base."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"I'm not all crazy about this Gerren guy as you are. I only accompany you since money seems to flow your direction."
WarDragon 1984: "The only other one we've seen is abandoned."
Kai Bahamut: "The other fort nearby was destroyed also."
Kai Bahamut: "So unless you know of more- Eldan, how many other forts are their on that map."
WarDragon 1984: *checks the map*
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Gerren is of little importance now. If the gods are against us, we'll never get him raised. Our goal should be survival now. This lot'll serve well as... er... fodder."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Perhaps they're not against us, but Gerren himself- it's his forts getting the smites- we're always just conviniently never in any direct danger from it."
fatalchocolate12: "Hey, we are warriors. We serve on the frontlines, and do our job. We are not fodder."
Kai Bahamut: "Exactly."
WarDragon 1984: "Muddy can't quite grasp the concept of diplomacy, warrior, you'll have to forgive him."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Di... plo... AH! You mean the thing ya do to get everyone to be all civil so they're sitting down when ye ram a scythe through their brains..."
fatalchocolate12: haha
Kai Bahamut: "When your dealing with enemies yes. But we are dealing with allies."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Oh, right, well, continue as ye will. I'll be quiet..."
Kai Bahamut: "Does Lord Gerren do any experiments with powerful beings?"
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"One way of putting it I suppose. You'd be better at it if you ran yourself through a river."

[Spus]

fatalchocolate12: "How would I know? Most of us have never even met Gerren."
WarDragon 1984: "Were there any sorts of experiments carried out here, that you know of, even in rumor?"
fatalchocolate12: "Here? No, not possible. We wouldln't have anywhere for experiments of that type, and even if we did, everyone would know because of the limited floorspace."
Kai Bahamut: "Good. In that case, Muddy cast vigor on a couple of the others. It is our best interests that they all get on their feet as fast as possible."
WarDragon 1984: (were there any other forts on the map?)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Eh, Trooper. Which of these lads is the most useful to heal now?"
fatalchocolate12: (Yeah, there are 12 other forts on the map
stabs felcher: Muddy touches his vigor spell to two of the men. "Hope we won't be needin' this healin' anytime soon..." (12 hitpoints over 12 rounds healed)
WarDragon 1984: "We've got a lot of walking ahead of us... I only hope we're able to evacuate some of these before the same thing happens there..."
SpusWidgetwatch: (And they all meet terrible fates as we approach)
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza administers CLW via boots to the guts.
Kai Bahamut: "Right. The villiage needs a lot of time to make enough weapons for sale in the other towns
stabs felcher: Muddy: "If these things explode when we go near them... then... shouldn't we... never mind."
SpusWidgetwatch: (On two of them anyway)
OnlineHost: SpusWidgetwatch rolled 2 8-sided dice: 3 6
SpusWidgetwatch: (+5/+8)
fatalchocolate12: haha
Kai Bahamut: huh?
fatalchocolate12: She gave them CLW through kicking them in the stomach
Kai Bahamut: Ironic
fatalchocolate12: What's Riza's STR?
Kai Bahamut: So are they healed enough to get up and moving around
fatalchocolate12: yeah
SpusWidgetwatch: (10)
fatalchocolate12: good, otherwise you would have been dealing damage
Kai Bahamut: "Are your rations intact, soldiers?"
fatalchocolate12: "Umm... the only food we got was from the mess hall, and I think you will have a tough time getting in there right now."
Kai Bahamut: "Damn. Okay we need to head back to Brenthall and buy rations. I hope you have money to pay for your food and arms?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Did ye find anything among the ruins Zarius?"
fatalchocolate12: (and for reference, you guys are just a day's walk from the bay)
Kai Bahamut: "No. Its all gone. I think the bay towns are closer. If everyones ready to walk lets get moving."
fatalchocolate12: (for more reference it's about 3 pm)
Kai Bahamut: (Can we fast fowards to arriving at the town?)
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Alright, you lot, shed your arm bands and anything identifying yourselves as Gerren's troops. Also, you're used to heirarchy, so your new leader is... Erm... Zarius or Eldan... one of them..."
WarDragon 1984: "Yes, we should move as soon as our new comrades are up to it."
fatalchocolate12: (No. We can't fast forward because those angry gods took away my time-traveling powers.)
Kai Bahamut: "We are all your superior officers now."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Yes..hehehe...I will not tolerate insubordinance!"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "We should have one leader to be in charge of these six, so as they know what to do if we're all yellin' at em..."
WarDragon 1984: "Zarius, you probably have more leadership experience than myself."
Kai Bahamut: "All right. You men follow my orders now. Eldan is commander in my abscence then on down to Muddy. Hes the dwarf."
stabs felcher: Muddy: *waves*
stabs felcher: Muddy: "In the event that I am unable to command, his bunny familiar will take up the mantle."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "In the event that Mary Sue cannot fulfil her duties, my beard maggots will direct your actions."
WarDragon 1984: "After Sally Sue, there's the thin, tusk-less Orc, then Riza."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Isn't Mary Sue a he...?"
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Should it come to pass that my beard maggots are no longer suitable for the role, then Riza's in charge."
fatalchocolate12: (Wow, you are determined to not let Riza command.)
Kai Bahamut: Sally Sue: *gets up and hind legs, waves and makes paw motions indicating that as soon as you can walk, we leave and also motions to muddy that his nameis Sally Sue.*
stabs felcher: Muddy: "What's that rabbit? SALLY Sue? Well, excuse me little one. I meant no offense."
SpusWidgetwatch: (Well I don't blame you, I don't seem very loyal )
Kai Bahamut: Sallys Sue: *none taken*
fatalchocolate12: (I never knew a dwarf could say 'little one')
fatalchocolate12: (wait, thinkin of gnomes)
SpusWidgetwatch: (BBEG:"You! Here's 50 gold if you fight on my side! Riza:*Backstab!*)
Kai Bahamut: Yep. Now lets head back to town.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Or would it be BBGG here?)
WarDragon 1984: (shouldn't that be BBGG in this game?)
fatalchocolate12: y'never know
Kai Bahamut: I dont think they bribe villians much)
fatalchocolate12: you could get caught a power struggle... : )
SpusWidgetwatch: (Evil can fight Evil )
fatalchocolate12: but can good fight good?
SpusWidgetwatch: (Yes.)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Mind control, Differing philosophys, blind loyalty, etc.)
fatalchocolate12: that doesn't sound very, well, good of them
Kai Bahamut: (It happens.)
Kai Bahamut: (uses player time travel powers to go to the town.) "You boys will rest up here, and then you will have another battle to fight."
SpusWidgetwatch: (My Favorite NPC alignment is Lawful Neutral- they may not like what the overlord is doing, but they feel compelled to fight for them to the death.)
Kai Bahamut: (And then head back in time to kill the dinosaurs)
fatalchocolate12: (You mean the president of the dinosaurs)
SpusWidgetwatch: (I'd go back in time and punch myself in the face as a baby. Just to see how that farks up time.)
fatalchocolate12: (It would make you very ugly)
Kai Bahamut: (Yes. But the president of what was Mexico back then. The great Tryannsarus Mex.
WarDragon 1984: (you would develope feelings of self-loathing.)
Kai Bahamut: And you would to go back in time and punch whoever did this to you...
fatalchocolate12: AHAHAA
Kai Bahamut: I drop the soldiers off at the town, telling the mayor to get them some weapons for the upcoming battle. "Now, which fort is closest Eldan?"
SpusWidgetwatch: (You see, if Time Travel existed, some bastard would go back in time and shoot himself in the head and destroy the universe with a paradox.)
WarDragon 1984: Which fort is closest, fatal?
fatalchocolate12: other than the 2 you already went to, one to the south then to the west for a while
WarDragon 1984: How far?
SpusWidgetwatch: (The reason the universe hasn't exploded yet is why time travel doesn't exist.)
fatalchocolate12: total walk would be 4-5 days
Kai Bahamut: Lets go then.)
fatalchocolate12: (But if it did explode, I'd go back in time and- *combusts*)
SpusWidgetwatch: (Suppose I can assume I get my spell charges back)
Kai Bahamut: Yep
WarDragon 1984: Is this town ready for us to do our stuff here, first?
stabs felcher: (prays)
Kai Bahamut: (Ill do the selling of the weapons)
stabs felcher: (sweet. We have weapons to sell?)
Kai Bahamut: (Sucky one to sell to the other town so they have sucktastic equipment to fight us with.)
fatalchocolate12: allright, I think we should stop for tonight
fatalchocolate12: it feels like we are dragging our feet and not doin much
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Agreed. End."
fatalchocolate12: umm... you don't say that IC
WarDragon 1984: Now THAT's metagaming, for you.
Kai Bahamut: "End of what? its not time for you to pray."
stabs felcher: Muddy: "Erm... sorry, I suddenly trascended all existance for a moment there. I do that occassionally."
SpusWidgetwatch: Riza:"Yes, Yes, Armegeddon this, Armeggeddon that."
fatalchocolate12: Anyways, we should probably skip next week's session in honor of Christmakwanzaka/non-denominational winter holidays
WarDragon 1984: Indeed.
SpusWidgetwatch: I'm offended by you mentioning Christmas. I will sue you for every penny you have.
fatalchocolate12: And plus, I kinda need a bit o' time to come up with fun ideas
Kai Bahamut: Sally Sue: *goes vorpal bunny on you for threatning to sue*
WarDragon 1984: *smacks spus for encouraging the problem*
fatalchocolate12: I also mentioned kwanza and hannukha (sp?)
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 3
SpusWidgetwatch: What if I have some obscure relision that makes me offended by everything?
SpusWidgetwatch: religion
stabs felcher: then we have to respect it by offending you?
fatalchocolate12: haha
WarDragon 1984: Indeed.
Kai Bahamut: lol
SpusWidgetwatch: I'm only looking to get rich the american way.
SpusWidgetwatch: Suing everyone over something incredibly minor.
WarDragon 1984: And THAT'S why the terrorists hate us.
stabs felcher: hmm... tell us when you've figured out EXP
Kai Bahamut: Sally Sue: *sues for exp because he dosent get more screen time.*
fatalchocolate12: 450
WarDragon 1984: thank ya
WarDragon 1984: even me?
fatalchocolate12: yeah
WarDragon 1984: thanks!
Kai Bahamut: Is that EXP for this session?
fatalchocolate12: yeh
SpusWidgetwatch: how much were the children worth?
Kai Bahamut: yay!
fatalchocolate12: like, 2
Kai Bahamut: at a 1/64 CR?
fatalchocolate12: for all of them
stabs felcher: d20 modern: "Players don't get any experience for 'defeating' children"
Kai Bahamut: You killed them. dont you get EXP for that
WarDragon 1984: No.
WarDragon 1984: RPing XP for playing up the Evil maybe, but not killin' XP.
fatalchocolate12: yeah
fatalchocolate12: I think I need to make this campaign a bit more leaning toward combat because it's getting boring
Kai Bahamut: Right. Give us a alternate group of heroes to fight
stabs felcher: As I said, things with Class Levels tend to make things interesting
SpusWidgetwatch: Good Opposites?
Kai Bahamut: Yep.
WarDragon 1984: our mirror-images would be interesting...
Kai Bahamut: And they would have to be Gestalt.
Kai Bahamut: Other wise they would fail
fatalchocolate12: Riza's would be fuggin creepy
SpusWidgetwatch: Good Riza would be a...?
Kai Bahamut: how?
fatalchocolate12: I would also like to see Valinducia's opposit
WarDragon 1984: Favored Soul of Pelor//Warmage for Riza.
fatalchocolate12: something along hte lines of loves all elves?
Kai Bahamut: An Orc who loves elves
SpusWidgetwatch: A true tree hugging orc
WarDragon 1984: Valin's would clearly be an Orc Ranger//Barb. raised by Elves.
fatalchocolate12: what about Sally Sue? what would his good counterpart be?
WarDragon 1984: for Kai, just drop the "tyranny" from his Paladin.
Kai Bahamut: Sally Sue isnt evil. Infact hed be closer to good than evil
WarDragon 1984: me... I have no clue.
Kai Bahamut: It was the bunny he and Martel had as a pet, so he had a good upbringing
Kai Bahamut: Eldan would face a Rogue/something
Kai Bahamut: A bard!
SpusWidgetwatch: Anti-Riza would be more sense as a Cleric/Paladin of Pelor or something- no real opposite for a Warmage or something
Kai Bahamut: Thats it
WarDragon 1984: Healer.
Kai Bahamut: (Needs a monk/cloisterd cleric younger sister of Martel if we have no other opposite exsists)
WarDragon 1984: Riza's opposite would use the Healer from MiniHB.
fatalchocolate12: what about muddy? O.o
SpusWidgetwatch: A good smelling duergar?
stabs felcher: ooh nice
WarDragon 1984: Elf Cleric//Paladin, dedicated to bringing life and healing.
fatalchocolate12: a clean shaven, good smelling dwarf
fatalchocolate12: wait, isn't that a paradox?
Kai Bahamut: Fighter/Samurai
Kai Bahamut: Samurai is from Complete Warrior
stabs felcher: Maybe someone from his clan, come to punish the exile
Kai Bahamut: And Eldans oppostie could be a bard/Swash buckler
WarDragon 1984: hmmmm....
SpusWidgetwatch: A truer opposite to a PoT would be a PoF actually
fatalchocolate12: PoF?
Kai Bahamut: Yeah, and with a younger sister of Martel it would be the opposite party from hell/the past.
SpusWidgetwatch: Paladin of Freedom
SpusWidgetwatch: CG Paladin
fatalchocolate12: yeah, that makes sense
SpusWidgetwatch: Or a Holy Liberator or something
Kai Bahamut: Yeah. A PoF would also be a horrible reminder of how Zarius once was.
fatalchocolate12: yeah, Zarius would probably go all twitchy and start eating PoFs
Kai Bahamut: Yes.
Kai Bahamut: *uses bite attack
OnlineHost: Kai Bahamut rolled 1 20-sided die: 17
SpusWidgetwatch: Y'know, Cleric of Pelor/Healer would probably be kinda odd in effectiveness- basically a ttrue walking medicine chest heh
fatalchocolate12: holy fuck
Kai Bahamut: Monk/Cleric
Kai Bahamut: *devours Paladin of Freedom
Kai Bahamut: Better than that is monk Cloisterd Cleric. More skills points, bonus domain, bardci knowledge (called lore.) and then all the monk stuff.
Kai Bahamut: Every paty needs a monk. If i die thats what im coming back as.
SpusWidgetwatch: I dunno what would be my 2nd evil char, I like Riza on char and mechanically- Go Red Mage rip off
WarDragon 1984: not a bad plan.
Kai Bahamut: There is a red mage prestiege class out there
WarDragon 1984: I'm not sure what my backup would be, either...
WarDragon 1984: yeah. Chameleon's pretty red-magey.
SpusWidgetwatch: Really not needed
SpusWidgetwatch: not every char needs a PrC heh
Kai Bahamut: Id do Monk/Rogue or Monk/Cloistered Cleric
WarDragon 1984: Yeah, I really don't know what PrC would fit Eldan, either in mechanics or flavor.
WarDragon 1984: Fiend-blooded, from Heroes of Horror is kind of nice, but it's Sorc only...
Kai Bahamut: Ooohh... whats that?
WarDragon 1984: gives you some ability boosts, extra spells. But, you have to be descended from fiends to get in.
Kai Bahamut: Who says im not? Good chance to interact with fiends. "You should have never met that girl anyway... she clouded your mind. Now come back to me dear boy...."
SpusWidgetwatch: I have decent BAB, decent armor, a set of spell charges for blasting, a set of spells for healing, buffing, utility- what else do I need?
WarDragon 1984: heh. I was thinking of adapting it for Warlocks, though. If I did, it'd be perfect for Eldan...
WarDragon 1984: and not much, Spus. Not much.
Kai Bahamut: Get wish next levle
Kai Bahamut: *level
SpusWidgetwatch: I don't get Limited Wish or Wish...downside to Warmage :-(
WarDragon 1984: heh.
WarDragon 1984: you can get Miracle, though.
SpusWidgetwatch: I'll Meteor Swarm everything dead.
Kai Bahamut: I get wish and such
Kai Bahamut: And as a sorcerer i can do up to three times a day at 20th
WarDragon 1984: I... uh.... I get my stuff at will.
Kai Bahamut: "i can grant you three wishes..."
WarDragon 1984: And with the errata that Eldritch Blast is always 1st level unless you apply another invocation to it, the Metamagic Spell-like Ability feats become much more attractive...
Kai Bahamut: Maximize and Empower eldritch blast are worht the price of admission
WarDragon 1984: and my favorite, Quicken!
WarDragon 1984: Quickened, Maximized Blast followed by another Maximized Blast with Skirmish on top... mmmmm....
Kai Bahamut: The only metamagic i will pick up (and only to get the sudden metamagics) is Twin spell. I want to lay the smack down with double fireballs and twin Bigby's crushing hands. (At 9th level, those hands
WarDragon 1984: yeah, that's good.
Kai Bahamut: better do what i want, include punch, grab, throw, and grope
Kai Bahamut: Also, what level do i need for Bibgys groping hand? "I have no control over it, i swear!"
SpusWidgetwatch: Grope them until they surrender?
fatalchocolate12: I think that goes under teh book of Erotic Arts
Kai Bahamut: Or Nymphology, the Blue arts
SpusWidgetwatch: Hmm...never looked into- You can't do regular Metamagic with Spontaneous casting?
Kai Bahamut: Nope. Any Metamagic spell fo rme is a full round action. Which makes quicken spell pointless
SpusWidgetwatch: So if I took Maximize Spell, I can't use it at all?
WarDragon 1984: You can use it, of course. It just takes a full round, instead of a standard action.
WarDragon 1984: Metamagic, disregarding Quicken, is actually better for spontaneous casters, because they don't have to guess ahead of time what they'll need.
WarDragon 1984: and if you need to move around a lot in combat anyway, you're doing something wrong regardless.
SpusWidgetwatch: Hmm...so not that bad
Kai Bahamut: Yeah
SpusWidgetwatch: Maximized Fireball- wee?
Kai Bahamut: Maximized Disentigrate
Kai Bahamut: If they fail, The Phail
stabs felcher: if I were more charismatic, I could pump some divine metamagick. in a bunch of levels with a few more feats...
SpusWidgetwatch: 40d6s of fun.
WarDragon 1984: heh
WarDragon 1984: Divine Metamagic is especially good with Persistent spell.
SpusWidgetwatch: you need 18cha to use it.
SpusWidgetwatch: takes 7 turn attempts to use it
WarDragon 1984: I thought it was just the level...
SpusWidgetwatch: plus you need Extend/Persistent/Divine Metamagic: Persistent.
WarDragon 1984: still, have you seen the uber-builds on GFAQs that use it?
WarDragon 1984: *shudder*
SpusWidgetwatch: it's badass if you can pull it off, but it isn't as cheap as advertised.
WarDragon 1984: of course, most of those rely on Nightsticks. An item from Libris Mortis that gives you +4 turn attempts.
stabs felcher: aye, I can only do it up to 4 levels, and it's a waste of feats to cast a maximized CLW once a day
Kai Bahamut: Yep
Kai Bahamut: The higher level cures are uslaly way better
SpusWidgetwatch: I could do it if I took a level of Cleric, but I have 9 wisdom heh
Kai Bahamut: 8 wisdom
WarDragon 1984: dang...
SpusWidgetwatch: I dunno, got a periaphat of wisdom or something
SpusWidgetwatch: 11wis, enough to cast 1 level worth of CL spells
WarDragon 1984: I'm making do with 7 str, so I've got no room to judge, of course.
SpusWidgetwatch: Wait, PoT with 8 wis?
Kai Bahamut: you need dex more than anything
Kai Bahamut: Yes
Kai Bahamut: No divine spells for me
WarDragon 1984: Dex, then Cha.
WarDragon 1984: and Dex is my highest, at 15.
Kai Bahamut: Excellletn
Kai Bahamut: I dont want divine spells anyway.
Kai Bahamut: I had to have a dump stat
WarDragon 1984: indeed.
SpusWidgetwatch: Nerull also has sucky domains
WarDragon 1984: Trickery's nice
SpusWidgetwatch: Also the powers are based on CL level, so 1 level of CL don't do much
SpusWidgetwatch: Going to head ot bed, have to be at work in 7 hours yay
WarDragon 1984: sleep well.
SpusWidgetwatch has left the room.
Kai Bahamut has left the room.